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Knock, Knock! Who’s There?

| Jan 9, 2012
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Hi Darlene!” I called across the room to my new friend as she made her entrance to the support group meeting. “I hear you had quite a shopping adventure. I hear some man wanted to get in to your fitting room?”

Perhaps because of my too loud question or perhaps because of the implied drama in the question an audible hush came over the room.

“Yes, he did,” Darlene replied, “but it wasn’t as bad as you suggest.”

Darlene and I were getting together with the others in advance of a local Tri-Ess chapter meeting. A week or so earlier she had posted a report to our Yahoo group of an experience she’d had while shopping for some femme clothes. The report had intrigued me and I was anxious to learn more.

As soon as I could I sashayed over to Darlene and putting on my best gossip girl/ drag queen accent said “so girlfriend, tell me all about it. What’s this about you letting men into your little cubicle?”

Darlene is a doll of a personality and quiet as she is she didn’t seem to mind my playing it up. However she did say, “Linda, keep it down a bit. Everyone’s going to think I’m a tart.”

“Okay,” I acknowledged, “You’re not a tart but what is this all about? How did you get to be shopping and trying on women’s clothes in the men’s change room?”

“Well you know about my friend Jane,” replied Darlene.

“The girl at work you told about Darlene?”

“Yes, she’s been a great friend and confidant ever since. She has helped me in so many ways and she is completely nonjudgmental. She has helped me so much with my makeup and even helped me select ‘Darlene’ as my name.”

“Every one of us should have a Jane,” I mused with some genuine jealousy in my voice.

“Well on Fridays we work a shortened day so we were off early. I told her I was thinking of going to Bealls to look over their post-Christmas sales. She asked if she could come along and I was happy to have her company.”

“How so?”

“When I told her about Darlene she became interested in what I was wearing and how I looked. She hasn’t seen me en femme very often but I have often shown her my purchases. She evaluates everything with an honest, critical eye. I trust her judgment and when she says something should go back it goes back.”

“So with her along you could get it right the first time?”


“But you weren’t en femme were you?”

“No, it wouldn’t have been a story if I had been.”

“So we got to our local Bealls that afternoon and headed straight for the lady’s department,” Darlene continued, “I was a bit concerned that we would see someone we knew but Jane convinced me not to worry, that anyone would think we were shopping for her.”

“Sure, it’s much better to be seen having a little affair with a married woman than doing a little crossdressing,” I quipped.

Darlene overlooked my comment. “All was going well. I had picked out a few dresses, skirts and blouses at 70% off that I liked. I asked Jane which ones she liked. She insisted I try them on to make sure they were the right size.

“I said that I couldn’t. I wasn’t dressed to go in to the women’s fitting room.”

“Yes, that could have been a problem but once I went in to the ladies room with my wife. I was trying on the clothes for her to see but to the world it would have seemed the other way around,” I interjected.

“Well, Jane probably wasn’t anxious to see me naked. She suggested I take the items to the men’s section so I did.”

“Weren’t you concerned about being seen carrying in an armload of dresses and skirts in to the men’s change room?”

“I made a couple of trips there carrying two or three female clothes covered by a male shirt. I had to wait a little each time as the place was quite busy. I’d put a dress on leaving my shorts on and just removed my T shirt. No problems; it was working out fine.”

“You had it down to a science.”

“The third time I had a skirt and a couple of blouses. Jane had suggested wearing one blouse under the other with the skirt to see how they looked. I had to wait until a young guy came out of the dressing room. Once inside I took off my shorts and shirt to put on the skirt and the two blouses. Just then I heard someone talking to one of the sales associates saying ‘someone’s in there.’ I had a panicky feeling that they might be talking about my cubicle so I started to change back as quickly as I could.”

“Murphy’s Law?”

“Exactly. Of course the buttons and zippers became harder to handle. I was just getting off the skirt when there was a knocking on the cubicle door and asking if I was going to be long.”

“Were you scared?”

“I was startled more than scared. One doesn’t usually get disturbed in a fitting room. I replied that I was just about finished. As calmly as I could I finished dressing, wrapped the skirt and blouses in the men’s shirt and left the cubicle. There, waiting outside, was the young guy who was the previous occupant and a clerk.”

“Is it true the guy thought he’d lost some money there?”

“Yes, he said he’d lost $80.”

“Did they find it?”


“Do you think they suspected you of pocketing it? What if they had wanted to search you?”

“I don’t know what would have happened then. He asked if I had seen the money. I said I hadn’t seen any but I hadn’t really been looking. He came in looked around looked under the bench. I backed off and considered taking my wallet out to show him I didn’t have his money and ask him if he wanted to search me. Then I thought if I do that they may search the clothes in my hand or I’d have to put them down. So I turned and walked away. Sorry for the guy but he hadn’t lost it in the changing room and I didn’t have the money.”

“You had nothing to hide,” I countered.

“I just wasn’t comfortable having them see that I’d been trying on women’s clothes so I left. They didn’t ask to search me and it seems the young guy wasn’t certain that he’d lost the money in the change room. He could have lost it anywhere. He could have left it at home.”

“So was Jane listening to all this from outside.”

“Yes, she heard it all. Afterwards we had a coffee together and had a good laugh.”

“What an afternoon!” I exclaimed.

“It’s all in a CD’s life,” Darlene calmly concluded.

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Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment

Linda Jensen

About the Author ()

Canadian writer Linda Jensen is a long time contributor to TGForum. Before the days of the Internet Linda started her writing with the Transvestian newspaper. Her writing ranges from factual accounts of her adventures to fiction although frankly sometimes her real life adventures are stranger than the fiction. Linda is married to a loving partner who upon learning about Linda said, "she was part of you before I met you. Although I didn't know it she was part of the package I fell in love with. I don't want to mess up that package." "Does it get any better than that?" asks Linda.

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