Your Suicide is Not Acceptable

| Jan 12, 2015
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Suicide is only painless after you’re dead, but then you can’t tell.

I don’t have to wonder what goes through the mind of a suicidal individual. I used to be a suicidal individual. A lot of my suicidal thoughts were driven by the same reasons people kill themselves today. The only difference between us is a complete change of mind due to taking chances which eventually lead to survival.

Every time I read about another Leelah Alcorn I am disappointed in how poorly people value themselves. There is a level of achievement you ought to feel if you’ve managed to fall out of the womb and climb across the battlefield of life to get to a self-sufficient age. I think your appraisal of self-worth should be higher. The fact that you’ve even survived to be a fully functional human being is a wonder within itself. It’s a thing to be celebrated. The things you could accomplish from there are limitless!

Here we have another wonderful young spirit who happened to have been transgender. Her family life sucked. Leelah was a lonely girl trapped in a boy’s body. She was almost 18 years old and steps away from freedom. But she could not wait any longer. The pain was too torturous and Leelah’s opinion of herself was too bleak.

It is that opinion which makes all the difference. Whether you are transgender or completely “straight and narrow” it is likely that your parents were horrendous creatures. Most of us have grown up in households in which the opinion of who we are differed greatly from who our parents thought we should have been. It doesn’t matter if you were trapped in the wrong body, were attracted to the same gender or wanted to dye your hair purple; In most cases our parents hated us for who we wanted to be.

My opinion of these things is far too simple for the complex diatribes which wish to occur over such matters. It’s not easy being a child or a teenager no matter what type of person you are. There is a great span of time in which there is no hope, however your fortitude and courage can make all the difference. If you toil in the dungeons of your colorless and repressively religious parents with no grasp of self then you shall surely die. In one way or another your spirit will be snuffed if you do not decide early on that you will survive this madness.

Is it as simple as mind over matter? I have no better solution to offer. We will never change the closed-minded. They shall always exist. Religion will never quit in its evil humdrum of suffocating abuse. It is up to you, the interesting person who knows exactly who they are, to find the tribes you need to associate with to survive.

Our children now have a world of counterculture information at their fingertips and it still isn’t making them feel any better. This tells me that the world is a rotten place. This also tells me that your perception of inner strength to survive a situation is the only thing which will save you at the end of the day. You’ve got to have the inner power to survive when darkness hits and the blade is at your wrists, the rope is around your neck or the truck is headed in your direction. Nothing else will save you but your own perception.

Suicide is not painless and it is not courageous. To be courageous is to live and the way you change things is by living, not by taking yourself out of the equation. Too many people want their death to mean something while they did not attempt to make their life mean anything. Your suicide is not acceptable.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion

The Artist D

About the Author ()

The Artist D is a true raconteur and provocateur! He has been performing online since the mid 1990s. A relic from the cam show age before MySpace was any space. Author of In Bed with Myself, an autobiographical tale of transgenderism and Internet celebrity. Executive Editor of Fourculture Magazine and host of the Kawfeehaus podcast.

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  1. besweet besweet says:

    I’ve read many articles about Leelah’s life and death. This piece captures the essence of the matter better than any other. This writing should be circulated as widely as all the others. Might help some trans person, who is tortured the same way Leelah was, to think twice before taking that final tragic step. Thank you, D
    LYNDA