In the COVID Closet 

Julie

For a couple years now, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to visit Washington DC — lots of online friends to meetup with and so many daytime places for Julie to explore. Well, such an opportunity finally materialized. I quickly made arrangements to arrive on a Monday night, business Tuesday and Wednesday during the day and pretty much the rest of the time being Julie time until flying home Friday morning. Found a hotel a few blocks from Freddie’s Beach Bar and started doing some research about other places to go — Jazz in Georgetown being on the top of the list. 

The trip was scheduled for March 16-20 and I’m guessing you know how this story ends. The week before, I get an email that the meeting has been changed to virtual mode and for a while I thought, “Okay, I still go and just call in to the meeting from my hotel room. No problem — actually it’ll give me more Julie time.” And then, school got canceled for my kids. And, my wife and I are told to start working from home. And, the bars and restaurants get closed in Chicago and elsewhere. Then I start thinking, there would be no point in being in DC just to hang out in my hotel room. And, what if all the flights get canceled and I can’t get home? Despite, my holding out hope against hope that somehow I could salvage this trip I was so looking forward to, it slowly became clear that I could not, in good conscience, leave my family in a time where it looked like the world was about to collapse. 

As of today, we have been sheltering in place for over a week, the kids haven’t been to school for two weeks and won’t go back until late April. Sure, it’s great to be getting some family time — lots and LOTS of family time — and while we’re getting some cabin fever, we’re quite blessed to be together at this time. 

As you might suspect, the problem for me — as a CD who is not out to the kids — is that any plans for Julie time is out of the question, at least for the foreseeable future. Certainly, any outing would be pointless, given that my usual activities are unavailable — no shopping, no restaurants, no fun shows to attend. Although I haven’t been taking advantage in the last few months, I would settle for a few hours of alone time at home, to at least practice my makeup and photo test some outfits — maybe pull out the ‘office girl’ look while working from home. (See pics for some of my favorite office girl looks from the archives.)

I think the hardest part is feeling guilty for complaining, especially when others are out of work, without an income or worse. I bring up the subject because I’m guessing that many of you are in a similar situation and are also unsure of how to feel. I guess the point is that helps to know that you’re not alone and your feelings are not unique and completely understandable. Just keep in mind that these difficult times will pass and soon we’ll all be back to our regular routine. 

Stay strong, be safe and look out for those in need.

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Tags: closeted, crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender Body & Soul