I’m Back in the Closet

Susan was a mature crossdresser years ago. Which would make her an old crossdresser now. Time takes its toll, and it isn’t easy. Then Crossdressing never was.

Dressing at her age is much like taking an old hi performance car out for a spin. She is cruising along taking it easy with the old machine thinking this thing is running really well for its age. Then at a stop light a sleek new Corvette pulls up. The driver and occupant look over, race the engine and giggle. She looks over at them and thinks this old crate was pretty hot once. She thinks I’ll floor board it when the light turns green and see what the old crate has left. She knows they are not going to win or even keep up. However, she can’t resist the challenge. So, she races the old engine a few times to show the upstarts they are still in the game. She has the clutch in, engine racing concentrating on the stop light ready to pop the clutch and do a burnout when it turns green. Then reality sets in and she backs off thinking she had better get this old bucket of bolts back to the barn before something breaks. On the way back and for the next few weeks, she is kicking myself for backing off. Backing off has never been her style. However, she concludes thirty years changes a lot.

Yes, it does. For starters, time takes its toll. Not only machines but people also wear out and die. All her old crossdressing friends are either dead, or heavily medicated rocking away looking at television all day. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing I guess. However, this leaves those like her still crossdressing a rather lonely and reclusive lot.

The old body swells, leaks, oozes, sags, snaps, pops, and aches. It also makes all sorts of strange noise at inappropriate times.

She must prop herself against a wall to put her panties on. Getting into pantyhose is an endurance contest of enormous proportions. Hooking her bra last week resulted in a trip to the chiropractor. Her arms have gotten too short to buckle the straps on her high heels. They are semi high now. When she has managed to persist and somehow get the heels on and buckled the real challenge commences. Which is getting vertical and moving about in them. Hell, just getting dressed is like running an obstacle course now.

Putting her face on, is another challenge. For starters, the elderly don’t see all that well. And, Suzzie is no exception. Doing eye makeup by braille isn’t easy. And, eye liner applied directly to the eyeball surely can’t be a good thing. This goes for mascara also. There is a lot more skin on her face now that must be covered. At least, this answers the age-old question of finger or sponge for foundation application. A paint roller seems to be in order now. The worst part of this endeavor is the finished job looks like a three-year-old has gotten into her mother’s (or father’s, I guess) closet and make-up kit. Suzzie usually gets this mess straightened out somewhat after a few re-dos.

After a while, the legs stabilize, and she can move about. She can even sit and get back vertical. Not exactly a graceful and painless endeavor. However, it’s an accomplishable endeavor still. Usually, she looks darn good or, so she is told when she is finished. Which makes all the effort worth it. Even if she has come full cycle and is pretty much back in the closet.

As to being back in the closet, the door isn’t locked. She can get out anytime that she wants to.

However, Suzzie lives in a small southern city right square in the middle of the Bible belt. There is no way any friends, neighbors, officials, and associates would ever accept Suzzie in their community. They could not afford to even if they wanted to. They are good people just a little ignorant. And of course, there is the mob mentality. Especially now after North Carolina politics stirred up the bathroom nonsense.

Then, there is law enforcement in the new police state that terrorism has turned the country into. Hard or soft police state depends where one is located. Hard or soft does not matter in Suzzie’s case. All LEOs are extra aware and looking for the unusual. Not that an old drag queen flitting about is unusual in some places. It is fair to say it’s not all that common around here and most likely would be noticed.

Even more concerning is all the video cameras that are constantly taping everyone. The average person in an average city in the USA is viewed eighty times a day.

It’s fair to say whenever Suzzie leaves her closet, there is a good chance she will be videotaped. And most likely stopped, detained, searched, sniffed by dogs, and will be headlines in the local newspaper. Still, Suzzie has always stretched the rules and she apparently has no intention of changing. And so far, she has been lucky.

At one time when Suz was much younger, she may have relished all this attention and found a way to use it. However, in the winter of this go-round, she finds it stupid, ignorant and a pain in her butt.

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Tags: aging, crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender Body & Soul