I Like the Way You Move

Many CDs will work very hard on achieving “The Look” that they want to represent their femme selves. They will buy expensive dresses, invest in the necessary foundation garments to make their figures “just right” (some will even go so far as to exercise!) and they will do or spend what ever they have to on hair, makeup, shoes, etc. to produce a fabulous image of stylish, sexy femininity. Then they move and spoil the whole illusion.

How a person moves is part of what we use to put them in categories. It happens at a subconscious level. Our brains get input from our eyes and the people we see are assigned categories and sub-categories. Female, male, young, old, fat, thin, attractive, not attractive, well dressed, poorly dressed, low class, middle class, and so on. If we had to take time to sort these things out at a conscious level we’d never get anything else done. Our subconscious does the pre-screening that allows us to zero in on the people we want to look at, and possibly interact with—or identify the people we want to avoid. Having it happen subconsciously leaves our conscious minds free to wonder about what’s for dinner and if we should buy that hot dress this week or wait for a sale.

As people we observe are added to different categories—oh boy! A hottie! Woo hoo!—we also use what we see to focus our attention. A woman with long hair, a short skirt, nice legs and perfect breasts will get us looking consciously. We wonder what her face looks like. Does she have “back” (See Sir Mixalot, “Baby Got Back”) and does she look as if she’s looking at us?

We begin to pay attention to how she moves. If she looks great but something about her movement isn’t right then a red flag goes up in our conscious mind saying, “Hold it. She’s stiff. There’s no fludity. What’s wrong with that movement? At that point an observer can notice other signs that “she” is not what she seemed at first glance.

That’s why movement is an important component of the quest to be the best woman you can be—given the disadvantage of being a man. Moving as a woman—in all areas, not just walking like a woman—can make the difference in how you are categorized by those you meet. You can look completely feminine but if your movement is still masculine you’ve wasted all the effort spent on looking like a woman. (If your goal is to “pass”.)

Simple things like the way you pick something up, how you hold your glass, or how you pat your hair into place are movements you want to get right. Observe women in several settings and watch how they stand, how they talk, where they put their hands. How do they hold a book? A cellphone? Be aware of the age of the women you watch and of their social niche. Concentrate on observing women of the kind you wish to emulate. By learning the right movements you can use your body language to tell everyone watching you the messages you want them to hear.

The worst mistake you can make is to make your movements too broad or too stereo typical. Too much hip movement is not natural and will get undue attention. Don’t be dramatic. Keep your feminine body language subtle and it will help you blend into the mass of people who get placed in the female category by the subconcious minds of those around you.

Keep your body loose, be prepared to move out of the way (a man will often take the shortest route from point a to point b without worrying that he may bump into someone), be natural. The last one is the hardest and it only comes with awareness of how you’re moving and lots of practice. I find that if I’m not fully engaged in my femme personna I’m not into my routine of feminine movement. Most of the time it snaps into place as soon as I’m dressed but on occasion it will not take over until I have been dressed for a few minutes. That’s led to hearing a voice behind me, from someone who hasn’t even seen my face, commenting that “that’s a man.” I’m not sure if my hips weren’t moving right or if my back was to stiff but it was something about my movement that tipped them off. Remember—always have the right moves.

Category: Style, Transgender Opinion