How Can You Create a Happy Marriage and Still Crossdress?

Many crossdressers fear once their wives (70% of them) find out that you are under-dressing or dressing en femme secretly, their marriages will fail. If you want her trust in you or in your marriage — know that the TRUTH is essential and it will take time for her to even begin to make sense out of it. And sometimes the trust is so eroded — no cleanser could clean up the mess your chosen lies left behind.

Now what? Own up. Be honest. The more transparent you are – the more she is learning about you, your childhood history, how you feel, what makes you tick and most importantly, why you NEED to crossdress.

Boundaries

Some crossdresser’s wives maintain clear cut, set BOUNDARIES, and claim to be much happier than those that do not have boundaries. If wives believe their husbands are respecting their boundaries, the trust can and often does grow.

• If you want to keep your marriage intact – understand – when she tells you she cannot accept you dressing up in front of her — Respect her BOUNDARIES — for often they are the deal breakers.
• If she tells you never to dress up in the household — Respect her!
• If she tells you she never wants to see you dressed up — Respect her!
• If she tells you to stop spending so much community property money on your wardrobe — Respect her!
• If she tells you never to dress up outside — Respect her!
• If she tells you to stop wearing her clothes, makeup and jewelry — Respect her!

Remember, the lack of respect for BOUNDARIES is what causes even more serious attacks against the marriage. None of the aforementioned would be necessary if she had knowingly entered into a marriage with a crossdresser. Therefore, in order for the marriage to be repaired it requires honesty and respect for her boundaries. What can she accept and what is non-negotiable is up to her. Yes, you can leave if you cannot live up to her needs as a crossdresser’s wife.

Granted this is not easy for any crossdresser — but for once can you please put yourself out of your high heels and have consideration and compassion for the woman YOU chose to be a crossdresser’s wife. Overwhelmingly, the majority of you made that decision for your innocent wives. Understand – this time it is not about you! It is about her needs.

It could be your wife of 20 years who just found out that all along she was the clueless wife, who came home early and to her horror found you dressed up in lingerie, satisfying yourself — as you were watching CD porn. She deserves to be told the truth, be heard, understood and respected. Many crossdressers claim they cannot stop crossdressing — nonetheless — you can start respecting your wife’s needs, emotions and most of all, respect her boundaries.

Start counseling — single and or couples therapy. Know that this is not only hard for you — since you know what is coming. Meanwhile — your wife is getting blindsided. Most wives need time. Give it to her. If you truly love her — tell her before she finds out. If you get “outed’” during the marriage — all I can say to some of you is DIVORCE is a bitch, but some say it is worth the price!

Warmly,

Dee A Levy, MA
The Cross Dresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives

Tags: crossdressing, featured, married CDs, spouses

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion