Forced Into the Closet! Bah, Humbug!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Edward Pola and George Wyle. First performed by Andy Williams

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you be of good cheer

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It’s the hap-happiest season of all

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings

When friends come to call

It’s the hap-happiest season of all

. . .and the song goes on!

Why is it that everyone but me seems to love that song? We have just finished a season of hearing it everywhere, in every store we go in, on radio and TV. Pretty well every singer who is anybody has recorded it.

However I just don’t warm up to it. Even with lines like ‘holiday greetings and gay happy meetings’ I just never liked the song.

Now I think I know why. While I like the idea of happy meetings down at the local gay club especially on drag night I never get to be there at Christmas time.

Why not? It’s because of those ‘kids jingle-belling’ and when ‘friends come to call’. I bet many of you have the same situation.

Here’s the deal: I have friends and family. The family includes married children and their children I love them but they live far enough away that it takes a special occasion for us to get together. That may be why I love them -– it takes a special occasion for us to get together.

The friends I’ll see on the golf course or the occasional pub night or something else. None of us ever drop by unannounced. That is except at Christmas time. It seems that the tradition around here is for people just to gather somewhere and you are welcome as long as you bring refreshment. The young people today call it a flash mob and they think they invented it. We’ve been doing house crashing for years.

Also at Christmas time. We — my wife and I — get invitations to go caroling. Once in a while I get roped into a church Christmas pageant and I’m not even religious. They just mistake me for being a wise man. Then there is the family. As you may know my wife and I are snowbirds. We spend summers in Canada and winters in Florida. So our kids are all about the family getting together for Christmas. “The kids just could not stand a Christmas without Nanny and Poppa,” we are told. More like the kids want to go to Disney and stare at their smart phones. But they all want a break from the winter weather and the parents want a break from cooking and cleaning. “So let’s all visit Nanny and Poppa and show them how much we love them. They shouldn’t be alone at Christmas,” they rationalize to each other.

I bet a few of you live the same situation. My wife who I met and married about 15 years ago knows about ‘Linda’, likes that I didn’t try to hide ‘her’ and occasionally will go out with ‘her’. But mostly she just bids ‘bye and be careful’ when I go out and chats but does not get cozy when Linda stays in. She does not seem to mind having a few ‘Linda’ things – well a lot of Linda things- in our guest bedroom and make up on our bathroom counter. We share laundry duties and Linda clothes get mixed in with the rest. I love that about her.

However as soon as there is a suggestion that someone may be dropping by or a relative is coming to visit she gets pretty stressed and as a result so do I.

Why the stress? When a crossdresser is in the closet to everyone everything stays in the closet, in the attic, in a storage locker or in the trunk of the car. When visitors come there is nothing to put away. It’s already there. Been there; done that.

If the crossdresser is out to everyone then there is also no need to put anything away. Visitors know they may see ‘Linda’ or they may see ‘Douglas’ so they may see his and her clothes, shoes, magazines, or whatever about the house.

But, what is it like for us poor in-betweens? We live most of our lives out to our wives but when company and family come a-calling we have to ‘be of good cheers’ as the song goes but at the same time make sure all the dresses, bras, make up, shoes and jewelry have been carefully squirreled away.

It is the thought that we might have missed something that causes us so much stress.

And it is not a question of my wife being able to say this or that item of clothing is hers. She wears 34 bras, 8 dresses, 7 shoes. I’m 38 or 40, 14 and 11W. Her makeup tends to the earth tones. I favor black eye liner and mascara and brighter red lipstick. Her ears are pierced. I’m still going with clip-on earrings.

Everything must be put away!

Not only that but I have one laptop computer that is the only one of several computers in the house that has any reference to Linda, all my TGF writing, my photos, everything on it. That computer and the back-up CDs must also be stored well away. So if over the Christmas season none of you were hearing from me that is why. Linda was in deep cover, very deep cover.

Please don’t get me wrong. I love my family and my straight guy friends and their wives. I have a ball being Poppa to the grandkids even though two of them are getting to be teenagers too cool to play games with Poppa. It seems I’m going to have to get a smart phone just so I can communicate with them. And I’m glad that I have an extra ‘clean’ laptop lying around so one or the other can use it to get in touch with friends back home when the reality of international roaming charges hits them.

I have a friend, Marie, who had a 16 year old grandson come to visit and she discovered he wanted to try crossdressing. At that time he did not even know about Marie. That was quite a visit. I wonder where they are now. My guess would be that the grandson is well on the way to being a granddaughter.

No such luck with my family. One teen is already a girl and the other is doing his best to grow a beard which is not a sign of TG tendencies.

So we enjoyed the holiday with lots of company and plenty to keep us busy. That didn’t stop the Linda part of me inside from being at times lonely and sad.

I think it must be the same for a guy who is having an affair. He is keeping the secret but all the time he wishes his children and the rest of the family could know the real love of his life. I found myself thinking that if I only could get dolled up and show them the ‘real me’ they would see how much fun I can be. I could also get my ears pierced!

So our Christmas visitors came and left. It was quite a procession out to the airport. Even though the kids had rental cars to turn in we actually wanted to see them off at the airport. Thankfully, they left before New Year’s Eve, the morning of December 31^st to be exact.. They wanted to ring in the New Year with their own friends.

It was quite a trip for my wife and I back from the airport. She knew from experience what was going on inside me. You see when my dresses, lingerie, heels, make-up and wigs must be put away it is not a case ‘out out-of-sight; out-of-mind.’ For me, it is definitely ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ After two weeks of forced abstinence my heart was feeling a strong desire to be dressed, to be Linda inside and out. Many of you will know the feeling, right?

We did not talk a lot on the way home. A soon as we were home and I headed for a shower my wife knew what was up. I would shower and shave, put on some light make-up and casual skirt and blouse and lay out my outfit for New Year’s Eve.

I was so happy I still had a chance for some ‘gay happy meetings’ as my wife had said it was okay for me to go over to Orlando to enjoy New Years with the LGBT, with a stress on the T, crowd at the Parliament House resort. I was also happy and lucky that my wife welcomed the Linda me to help her straighten up the house and prepare some of her special snacks to take to our traditional New Year’s Day community Bash-for-Those-Not-Glued-to-the-Bowl-Games party.

All’s well that ends well and 2018 was going to end well.

I had the rest of the day to dig out my Linda gear and line up what I wanted to wear that evening. When my wife headed out to play nine holes of golf with her BFF (best Florida friend) decided to give my New Year’s Eve outfit a dress rehearsal. It was the hap-happiest feeling’. It always is after a period of forced denial. My bra and breast forms felt delightful around my chest. I nailed the makeup and the new $17.99 dress from Ross, still with tags attached, would be perfect for the party. (No, Andrew in LA if you are reading this I would not return the dress after wearing it. That was just a joke!)

So the day progressed. My wife came home to be greeted by Linda watching TV. She suggested I take another hot bath while she prepared supper. I agreed even though taking a ‘hot bath’ is code for taking off my femme clothes and make up. I figured I’d have to shave again anyway before going over to Orlando.

Yes it truly was all ending well. Nice soothing bath, a good close shave and dinner was ready. I cleaned up the kitchen and we settled in to watch the evening news before I’d get ready to head over to Orlando.

“You still want to go?” she asked.

“Well, yes,” I replied, “but you know I think I might take a little nap before getting ready.” I was feeling a bit tired. It was just after 6 PM. I figured an hour of power nap, a half hour of getting made up and dressed and I’d be headed out about 9. I would be fresh for whatever the night may bring.

Skipping forward….

“Huh?” I said to my wife nudging me as she got in to bed. “What time is it?’ I asked.

“It’s after midnight. They just dropped the ball at Times Square.”

“Midnight! Why didn’t you wake me at 7?”

Is it possible to hear a smirk? I thought I heard one.

Man it sucks getting old, I thought as I fell back to sleep.

Tags: crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment