Finding a Church Home Means Being Open and Honest

This last week I made a huge and extremely emotional decision. That may be nothing to some of you. You might say we make huge decisions all the time. But this decision has a far reaching affect on my life and now I must face a process that I don’t particularly look forward too.

After nearly four years, I have left the church I called home. This was not a church where I was a fly on the wall or just a body in the pew each Sunday. I was an active participant in many aspects of the goings on within the church. I had brought the church into the modern age of Facebook. I headed up their Easter Egg Hunt for the community two years straight. It was the church I was baptized in. And one of the biggest contributions was that I showed them  what a Christian transgender woman looks like.

There had been difficult discussions, often times painful, but one thing rose above any biblical differences. This was a place where love often overrode many of the differences we had. That is why leaving was so emotional.

I had to evaluate whether what I had there was enough, and I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t. The decision to leave came down to not having true connections with men and women around my age and in my life season. Needs in my life have changed recently and being a mom of two teenagers, with one in college, trying to connect with moms of toddlers or grade school kids just wasn’t happening. Being a divorced woman among many couples also separated me.

I have always hated the concept of church shopping. Churches are not a product that we purchase and then return if we don’t like it.

Churches are a group of believers. Churches are a community where we should find love, respect, and a common goal of fellowshipping and worshiping the same God. It shouldn’t be a place we feel we have to go out of obligation. It should be a place where we want to be for the continued support and accountability.

The task at hand is finding one of these communities that fits the style and beliefs that build a sense of belonging and a place where our walk with Christ is strengthened.

It is often said that church is a place to be fed each week with the Word of God. But it should be much more than that. It should also be a place where we build our recipe book to feed ourselves during the week. Being connected to a close group of people to hold you accountable is part of that. Being in a group that can get in-depth into the Word on a much more personal level is part of the essence of a church body that we should be part of.

Not only do I have all these things to look for in a church body, but now that I am on the journey of searching out another welcoming and loving church to call home, I am faced with another round of outing myself. I would dare say that most trans individuals don’t relish the idea of continually having to explain the role we played in the past. We don’t look forward to having to explain over and over again what it means to be transgender.

As I seek out a new place to worship, I have decided to take proactive measures. I have started to send emails out to various churches in my area telling them who I am, explaining my situation and asking a few simple questions. I have already looked over several websites but a one on one conversation, even if it is through email, may be more enlightening.

I know that God has a church home out there for me. We were designed to worship together. I know that God will use me as he has in the past. I know I have more conversations about being transgender and being Christian ahead of me. And with that I pray that God gives me the words and speaks through me in those situations. I pray that I don’t back down and retreat when I am faced with sharing who I am.

That being said, I don’t want to waste my time either. My hopes are to find out a little about who they are prior to investing time going to a place that may not be ready for a transgender attendee. I also want to avoid any place that is openly hostile to the LGBT community.

I completely understand the choice that many transgender men and women make to stay silent and go stealth, especially in a religious setting. The ridicule and being ostracized for just living an authentic life can be difficult to bear. The gap that exists between the Christian church and the trans community is vast.

But staying silent is not a choice for me. For me to live an authentic life, I have to be honest about my past. God gave me that past for a reason and for me to ignore it is to ignore what God has done for me. For me, living an authentic life means living honestly and openly.

How do you feel about honesty in this situation? Use the Comment area below to share your opinion. (You must be a registered, logged in user.)

Tags: Christianity, church, featured, religion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion