Fighting Stereotyping?

Stereotypes are generalized views of a people or a portion of the population based on limited and usually incorrect information. Any time one groups races or individuals together  making a judgment about them without knowing them; this is an example of a stereotype. Racial remarks, sexual remarks, and gender remarks are most often based on the biggest stereotypes. Generalizing that all members of one race are good at sports, another at math or that all blondes are dumb might be some of the better known examples of stereotyping. As a Canadian I guess I should be sensitive to being type cast as an excessively polite, poor tipper.

But what about we crossdressers? Does society tend to apply stereotypical images to ‘boys who will be girls’? My friend Dee thinks so.

“Linda, what is it with guys that as soon as they meet us they want to stereotype us as a certain type of person?” I hadn’t seen Dee in several months but she was keen to tell me something. With her there was no small talk ‘How are you?’ ‘How’s your job?’ How’s your wife?’ No, Dee likes to get right to what’s on her mind.

“Why, what do you mean?” I asked defensively.

“The other night I was at a community meeting where there were several of us t-girls present. We had decided to continue the evening at a night club where I had heard they’d started doing drag shows on Wednesday evenings. The others were not so certain what the reception would be like on a non-show night so I was to go ahead and check it out. You know me; full steam ahead.”

“Too right there,” I commented instinctively —  to give Dee a chance to catch her breath.

“Well the club was dead that night and it showed no signs of getting better. A private party was just breaking up. The room had a dreary black décor. It wasn’t our kind of place, if you know what I mean.”

“Did you warn the others?”

“I did and we made arrangements to meet up at another club. As I was leaving I saw two guys talking. From the way he was talking one seemed to be the owner or manager of the place. I hesitated a bit until the other man left and then I asked him if he was the owner of the club. He was probably expecting a complaint but he identified himself as the manager. I said, ‘you’re not Portuguese are you?’

“He said he was Portuguese and asked how I knew. I said the club is named Club Salema. Salema is a little town in the southern part of Portugal. He was amazed that I knew it. He said most Americans think the club is just some Italian name. He said he grew up in Salema.”

“How did you know this Salema? I’ve never heard of it and I’ve been to Portugal.” I asked.

“We stayed near there a few years ago and used to go to the beach at Salema for lunch and some near-nude sunbathing. “

Dee continued, “So then we got talking about his home area and about the nightclub. Eventually he told me that they had stopped doing the Wednesday drag shows. The group that had been renting the hall to put on the shows had broken up and moved away. He asked what brought me there and I told him the story.”

“Was he shocked?” I asked.

“Not a bit,” Dee replied, “In fact he told me to call my friends back and get them to come over. He seemed genuinely welcoming even though one online review of the club had called him an S.O.B. He told me we were welcome any night of the week.

“I declined and made my way to my car saying that we’d come back another evening. I was just sitting there putting my next destination in to my Garmin when he came over. He asked me if I wanted to play around! Can you believe that? We’d only met ten minutes earlier and already he was propositioning me!”

“Play a round?” I repeated, “Did he want you to play golf with him?”

“Be serious. You know what he wanted. I was shocked! I’d just talked with him for a few minutes. Why is it that people stereotype us as being loose and easy?”

I resisted the temptation to tell Dee that she too was generalizing about people when she used the example of one man. She had a point that a lot of people do jump to conclusions about the t-girl they meet based on pre-conceived views.

“I don’t think everyone thinks of us as sluts,” I offered it rebuttal. “How were you dressed?”

“It shouldn’t matter how I was dressed,” Dee correctly countered. “Haven’t you been paying attention at those ‘Take Back the Night’ demonstrations? A woman has a right to dress as she pleases. Besides, I’d been at a committee meeting so I was dressed pretty conservatively. I had on a knee length skirt and I wasn’t even showing any cleavage.”

“I would have liked to have seen that,” I countered with a wink and a glance at what I knew was a great tape job giving Dee the look of having C-cups under that halter top.

“We need to have our own ‘Take Back the Night’ campaign and let people know that we don’t like being taken for granted. We are not all that easy. Most of us don’t even like being with guys,” exclaimed Dee.

“Present company excluded,” I shot back. Dee only smirked at me.

“It’s true that even if you are out at a nightclub you should not be assumed to be easy,” I continued. “But look, we could go on all night about the injustice of stereotyping. It’s wrong to do but it has become so common that it is comical. I know a guy who stereotypes all Hispanic laborers as ‘illegals,’ Canadians as poor tippers and gays as having AIDS. I guess for him it is easier that actually getting to know anyone.“

“How about the one about police officers liking donuts?” offered Dee, “But it is just not fair to be judged like that. It had not even entered my mind to do anything with him. I had a right to be left alone.”

“I don’t think the general population thinks of us as loose. They may have a different stereotype but remember his view of us is probably gained from the girls in his drag show. They may have been more than willing to show the boss a few favors. Now he has ascribed that attribute to others of our ‘group.’”

“It just wasn’t right of him to jump to that conclusion,” insisted Dee.

“I hope you straightened him out and left right away?” I remarked.

Dee just smiled a smile that left no doubt. “In a manner of speaking I straightened him out.”

“You didn’t!” I exclaimed, After all you just said?”

“Well he was cute and we’d had such a nice chat about Portugal. And as he was standing next to my car I could see that he was hugely interested in me.” Dee had that big grin she gets when she’s put one over on me. “My jaw was sore for two days afterwards.”

“Thank you for doing your bit in the fight against stereotypes,” I concluded sarcastically.

Fortunately a couple of other girls were about to join us so I was spared more details of her tryst.

Tags: crossdressing, featured, opinion, stereotypes

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion