Dirty Thirty
The Birthday Girl, Artist D (2013)
I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone in public before. If you calculate by man (or woman) measured time this month it is my 30th year on planet Earth. For the last twenty years I have kept to the belief that you are only as old as you think you are. That being said we all act our age. When I was 16 I said I was 18 and when I was 18 I said I was 17. Then when I turned 19 I stayed 21 for awhile until I turned 21 when I decided I was 23. I never really made up my mind after that if I was ever really any other age than 23.
I learned quickly that the age you said you were dictated how people treated you. That’s why I settled into 23 for so many years of my life. People treat you well and I felt my best when I was 23. You’re old enough to be “not crazy” with the alcohol you are allowed to buy and most people are assumed to be graduating college by then, going out into the real responsible world! Anything between 26 and 30 is practically a moot point. You’re in limbo and I refused to be in limbo. Label it some sort of psychosis but I truly believed for 90% of the time that I was 23, no matter how many years passed me by. It was only when I glanced at my identification that the truth of the matter ever hit me. I quickly tossed it aside.
Today I still live by the same rule I always have. You are only as old as you feel and the number you choose can mean everything when it comes to demeanor. Why shouldn’t it? We choose what our bodies should look like in order to project the perception we wish was real. We do it with gender and everything else, so why not age? It just so happens that for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long I want to be the age I actually am! Who knows, maybe I’ll want to be the age I really am for the rest of my life!
The Artist D at 30
Then come those folks who have to tell me that I’m still young and what am I doing “faking” ages at such an early one. First, it’s not faking if you ask me. It is a man made number after all. What does it mean? Well, I doubt it means much right now other than what society dictates it to mean. We are too young when we’re 18 and we’re just getting it when we’re 21 and we’re fabulous at 23 and sweet lord jesus we’re fabulous when we’re 30 and now 70 is over the hill and it’s all a damn lie.
No matter what age I have been I always had very young and very old friends. This is a special situation to be in because it made me realize a very important fact. You will always be old to someone and you will always be young to someone else. At what point does your age dictate the perspective where you can start talking about being young or being old? There isn’t one! Because no matter how young or old you are there is always someone looking up or down at you from their age pedestal.
I have lost too many people to not celebrate my age being a milestone. I’m sure those who made it to 60 feel like 30 was nothing, but my friends have been dying all along this yellow brick road. I know how likely it is that I may not have seen this age. And for someone whom has lived his (or her) life like every day was the last since I turned 15 I’d have to say that I have something to celebrate on a regular basis.
So, Happy Birthday to me, The Artist D. 30 very long years ago (long to me, maybe not to you) I came into the universe kicking and screaming wearing a pair of stilettos. My first words were, “We are ready for the floor show!”
While I have lived the last 30 to the fullest I also feel as if I have lived cautiously and secretly attempting to make it further. Because when you die at 17 you are a puff of smoke. When you die at 27 you’re no better than all the pop icons of the day. But if you make it to 30 you have achieved the Monroe factor and while you yearn to make it the rest of the way you can at least say you’ve given it a damned good go.
Happy Birthday Artist D!
The Artist D is executive editor of Fourculture Magazine. He is also unearthing the underground as host of The Fabulous D Show every Sunday night at 7 PM EST at TheArtistD.com!
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
The Artist D is a true raconteur and provocateur! He has been performing online since the mid 1990s. A relic from the cam show age before MySpace was any space. Author of In Bed with Myself, an autobiographical tale of transgenderism and Internet celebrity. Executive Editor of Fourculture Magazine and host of the Kawfeehaus podcast.Subscribe
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