Dina’s Diner May 30, 2022

THE DIMENSIONS OF BEAUTY

I’ve always been fascinated by the tiny differences in human features that can make one person more “beautiful” than another. Given similar heights and weights — the two dimensions that can cause quite visible differences — the measurement of facial features, the placement of those features, curvature of calves, circumference of ankles, vary only by millimeters from person to person.

A modern face measuring example.

Trying to do some research on this I came across some old studies purporting to measure “the perfect face.” Something called the “golden ratio” says that the face should be 1.6 times as long as it is wide. But other theories of physical beauty go into much further detail and measurement. Good Housekeeping magazine in the 1930s used a portrait of actress Sylvia Sydney as a model for the perfect face. The magazine listed seven key measurements: 1) The length of the face should equal the length of three noses. 2) The space between your eyes should by the width of one eye. 3) The upper and lower lips are the same width. 4) Symmetrical eyebrows conforming to the line of the nose. 5) Space from the lower eyelid to the upper eyelid is the same as space between the upper eyelid and eyebrow. 6) Eyebrow begins on the same line as the corner of the eye nearest to the nose. 7) Width of the face across cheeks is equal to two lengths of the nose. A more scientific analysis is here.

Even if your face doesn’t quite “measure up” to this geometry of beauty, it is probably only millimeters off the mark. Such are the tiny differences between, say, Scarlett Johansson and Sarah Jessica Parker or, Jessica Alba and Whoopi Goldberg. Somehow, our brains instantly recognize these minute differences immediately and register appeal or lack of appeal almost instantly. And before you object, yes, I know there’s more to individuals than physical beauty.

Of course, the same holds true for men’s appearance. Hence, crossdressers too. There’s no use in getting your calipers out and measuring your kisser. Even cosmetic surgery (or Instagram photo filters) can only do so much and it seems the results are often unhelpful. No matter where or how your millimeters are lined up, somebody out there loves the way you look. Even if that someone is in your mirror.

ARE YOU BANGIN’?

The website Buzzfeed.com had a feature about actress Zooey Deschanel that appeared on April 11, 2022. The article was revisiting the confusion when Zooey briefly did away with her signature bangs hairstyle.

Zoey with bangs and without.

The article reported, “Her hairstyle is really SO iconic that at the 2013 Met Gala, when Zooey decided to change it up and pin her bangs back, it became an internet frenzy.” A headline that appeared after the event said, “Zooey Deschanel is Unrecognizable Without Her Bangs.” Other comments from that earlier article said, “Who’s that girl? No, seriously. Because it doesn’t look like Jess” [her character from her show New Girl]. Another caption above the photo of Zooey with parted hairstyle and no bangs said, “Like, people literally could not figure out who this person was.”

The controversy hit home with me because many crossdressers (myself included) have bangs and would feel a little undressed without their protective cover, so to speak. It’s also relatable because I have not recognized people I should know when I see them out of the usual context.

Bangs for wig wearers hide the false hairline that can look so unnatural unless you have a very, very good wig. Some wig stylists recommend pulling some strands of your own hair out from underneath to give the wig hairline a more natural look. That’s good for those with full hairlines or whose natural hair color matches their wig color. For many of us, not so much.

It’s interesting that our femme hair does become a part of us and we are reluctant to change it up much – even though we can literally flip new hair on or off at whim. I know my ‘do hasn’t changed in years – and years. Trying on one of my other wigs never feels quite “me.” Seeing photos of other crossdressers that span the years you can see that their hair rarely changes drastically from their earliest photos to the most recent.

Whether it’s bangs like Zooey, or some dramatic hair confection like the queens on Drag Race, the hairstyle can become a point of personal identity. It’s one part of how we see ourselves – but also how others relate to us.

HER HEELS ARE TOO HIGH

How high is too high?

I came across an article on something called ChipChick.com headlined “He Wants To Ask His Girlfriend To Stop Wearing Stilettos Since He Doesn’t Like That She’s So Much Taller Than Him.” The item actually referred to a Reddit posting from sometime in early 2022.

The brief background is that the fellow in question is 5’5” and his girlfriend is 5’7”. The two-inch height difference doesn’t bother him much. However, she recently began wearing new “5-inch stilettos” which creates an uncomfortable height variance. “I looked at how we looked in a mirror and was shocked to see the overwhelming height difference between us (the stilettos, in theory, would make her 7 inches taller than me, but somehow the height difference seemed even more),” he explained. He also began to see that while out with his girlfriend, people were beginning to stare at their differences in height. He was asking a Reddit discussion group if he would be wrong to ask her to stop wearing the high heels.

First of all, I think people tend to exaggerate the height of high heels. Five-inch stiletto heels are not something you see often in public. But that aside, there is a deeply ensconced cultural idea that men should be taller than their female mates. It is probably still true that most tall women generally forego wearing high heels. These attitudes are probably changing somewhat but the fellow in the article is not alone in feeling some discomfort at being towered over in public by his girlfriend.

As crossdressers, heel height is an issue if you wish to “pass” in public. An average sized male with even a short pair of heels and a wig can quickly stand out in a crowd just on height alone. For the part-time crossdresser the idea of reducing heel height would be a tough decision to make. The feeling of being perched on heels is one of the key sensations of being dressed for many of us. Could you give it up for love or friendship? Hmmmm. . .

OUR PHOTO ALBUMS

The Whipped Cream album.

Not too long ago I saw a reference to Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass. In my youth, the Tijuana Brass had a burst of popularity with bouncy instrumental numbers running against the tide of guitar driven rock and pop hits of the time. One of their album covers (in the days of LP records) showed a lovely woman covered in strategically frothed whipped cream. I’m sure you’ve seen it. It’s an iconic image of a bygone era now.

But that reminiscence got me thinking about other album covers and the (literally) lost art of the album cover now that we have moved beyond even miniaturized CD cover art. One could go to a record store and pore over hundreds of album covers. Many of the covers used attractive women in provocative poses to sell product. An actress I saw on an old Perry Mason show, Sandy Warner, was a popular model for 1950s mood music albums like the Exotica series. Although posed and made up to look “exotic” Sandy was born and raised in good old New Yawk, New Yawk.

A music reviewer writing about an album by jazz vocalist Julie London wrote (after seeing her cleavage on the album cover), “no surprise she has a wonderful voice — look where it’s coming from.” In the 1960s and 1970s album art became more risqué and even established stars like Carly Simon, Linda Ronstadt, even Barbra Streisand, had provocative album covers.

The covers also provided some crossdressing inspirations as a teen in those years. I remember looking at Lou Reed’s Transformer album, the back of which appeared to have a photo of a guy in drag. (I learned much later it is actually a cisgender female model.) I studied that photo quite a lot in the stores even though I never bought the album. Later on, the New York Dolls debut album showed the band in androgynous semi-drag with long hair, makeup, and platform boots and shoes. Of course, there was David Bowie in his Ziggy Stardust period. The 1980s brought the puzzling mix of seemingly femme hair bands playing metal rock. The band Poison put an album out with all four members made up as heavily cosmeticized androgynes. Even if other bands projected masculinity, the Spandex® outfits, scarves, boots, and teased hair brought to mind femininity on a male frame. Which is what I — and perhaps you — were trying to figure out in our earlier years.

Unfortunately, all that is gone now. Yes, we have the internet for all the same wonderment. But there was something about traveling to a record store, holding the album covers, flipping them from front to back, and studying the photos, that even the immediacy of the internet can’t quite match. Like much of show business, most of it was illusion rather than reality. The pretty lady in whipped cream on the Tijuana Brass album cover? They say it was really shaving cream.

SUCH A PRETTY LITTLE CAT…FISH

A Catfisher before and after.

A couple of Diners ago, I had an item about a woman who dramatically transformed her appearance with cosmetics and false dentures. I saw some more articles about other women (and some fellas) who have done the same. They are referred to as “Catfishers” after the early online phenomenon of people tricking others into relationships with a series of lies.

The new catfishers use a combination of cosmetics, hair products, and photo filters to make them appear nothing like they do in “real life.” The photos are posted on a number of sites, Tik Tok being a favorite forum for the catfishing community. The image enhancements are generally confined to the face area as it is hard to make, say, a 180-pound woman look like a runway model. But the facial transformations are quite amazing. Even the guys who catfish as women are indistinguishable from the real women posting their enhanced selfies.

The newer wrinkle in the catfishing movement is the growing number of practitioners who show their before and after photos. The site Buzzfeed.com and Bored Panda.com both had pictorials of more than a dozen catfishing beauties. The majority of the before photos showed round, fleshy faces, drab hair, with the occasional bad teeth or splotchy skin. The after photos showed mostly soft focus, smooth skin tones, brilliant eyes under elaborate cosmetic applications, and perfect hair. The prevalence of online photo filters has had a huge impact on these transformations also.

Despite the crossdressing community’s love affair with photographing ourselves in full regalia, I never heard of anyone who tried to “catfish” someone else in the old sense of the term as subterfuge. I see some crossdressers using photo filters on some sites but it’s usually obvious enough to negate any charge of catfishing. In fact, these photo filters have an unreal antiseptic look that (in my mind) makes the subject less interesting and more fake than if they just let nature and makeup do their thing. But I’m just an old-fashioned girl.

Be yourself — even as your femme self, please.

Tags: crossdressing, fashion, featured, opinion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion