Diane Schroer Talks With TGF

David Schroer was a decorated member of an elite Special Forces unit. He rose through the ranks to become a colonel, trusted enough to brief the Vice-President on anti-terrorism efforts. Schroer was offered a job with the Library of Congress, as an analyist on terrorism. But before starting that position, Schroer told the supervisor about his plans to transition. The job would be filled by Diane, not David. The next day, the job offer was withdrawn. Diane filed suit in US District Court.

Just two days before learning the results of her suit, Diane talked with TGForum.

1. When you told your new boss about the transition plans after getting hired, what did you think their reaction was going to be?

“My intent was to allow my new supervisor time to make any preparations and notifications she felt would be appropriate and helpful to minimize any possible disruption. I expected that she might be surprised at first and then expected a constructive dialogue regarding any concerns she might have about how to inform the necessary people about my transition and how to simplify any administrative questions so I could get on with getting to work.

“My new supervisor made a point of telling me at lunch that it was a very eclectic group of people that I would be working with, and my own observations were in the same general vein. I expected that this would be a positive and welcoming place to transition and just get on with my life. And, I thought it would be easier for everyone if I just started work as Diane.”

2. Has this been tough to deal with?

“It has been a disappointment, yes. I think most can relate to putting a transition plan together and thinking that things are on track and going to work out when they suddenly — and for no good reason — go to hell in a hand-basket. That makes it doubly frustrating.

“But you deal with it with the help of great support like the ACLU, and you go on. Life is still out there — no one pressed the hold button. So you make the most of it, and hope that some day justice will be done and something good will come of all of it. That maybe the next person won’t have to go through the same thing and maybe people who ordinarily wouldn’t give it a thought will take a second and think about what it means to be transgender and discriminated against for no good reason, just because people can.”

3. It’s been going on for a while. What have you been doing in the meantime?

“I started a small counterterrorism and homeland security high-risk response consulting company. Several good friends from the Special Operations community who know my capabilities and my work have been terrific in providing word of mouth recommendations and referrals for work. Focusing on that and collaborating with other small businesses in the area of counter-terrorism and homeland security has kept me pretty busy.

“I still hope every day that the Library of Congress will call and say ‘We’ve made a big mistake and we’d like you to report for work tomorrow.'”

4. What’s been the response from family, friends and associates from outside the TG Community?

“I have been tremendously lucky on all fronts. My family has been terrific and my friends, especially from the military and Special Operations community have been just super. That is not to say it has been easy on everyone. My family always supported me, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a surprise and didn’t take some thinking about to come to grips with the idea of my transition. They had the patience and love to help see me through it.

“It is indeed ironic that the Library of Congress was concerned that my military colleagues would no longer speak to me, yet they have been some of my most ardent supporters.

“One close Special Forces friend remarked after he heard about the Library’s decision to revoke the job ‘After they heard you were going to be starting work as a woman, they should have just paid you less and been done with it!’ You have to love a military sense of humor.”

5. How about from within?

“The community has been wonderfully supportive. I’m not certain where I would be today, or how much good I would be to anyone had I not had the support and friendship of so many in the community. That goes for the personal friendship, the support groups, and the “tough love” only very close friends can truly help with.

“I met a woman who had transitioned four years earlier as I was starting my transition and she became my close friend and mentor — my “Big Sister” as some might call her. She had the understanding and close personal regard for me to give me the encouragement I needed to go the distance while being honest and straightforward with me in all the things that mattered. I shudder to think what paths I might have wandered down had it not been for her firm and wise counsel.”

6. What advice do you have for anyone who’s planning to transition on the job, or before getting a job?

“I’m not certain I’m in any position to be offering advice. There are several paths to a successful transition and for each of us they are different. On the other hand, there are probably a few common pitfalls that, regardless of the circumstances, they belong on the infamous list of bad ideas. Most of those bad ideas are pretty self-apparent when one takes some time to think about the possible consequences of a particular action.

“If it is possible to step out of your own perspective from time to time and take a look at the motivations for your actions, I think you can get a more balanced picture of why something might be a good, or conversely, poor idea. Because after all, your transition is really as much or more about everyone else than it is about you.

“For instance, I think many of us are motivated to tell everyone all at once about our transition. We want to get it out there. We’re happy about it. It’s news. And we just want to get the word out and get it over with. While that may be very tempting, I think most would agree that it isn’t the best approach. Deciding who you tell, and when, and why, can be some of the most important decisions you make. Building a coalition of colleague support or working directly with the management and HR department are different approaches that depend on circumstances, but both require timing and restraint to be effective. Letting the cat out of bag to everyone might be personally satisfying in a moment of frustration, but also be wholly counter-productive.

“Thinking those questions through with the help of a mentor and a therapist as well as close friends and family can make all the difference. Taking time to make a plan, take advantage of opportunities, and not be lured into rash actions are all keys to success. And remembering it is really more about the people around you more than it is about you helps keep things in perspective.”

7. Now that you’ve won, how do you feel?

“For my part, I’m very pleased. It is tremendously gratifying to have your faith in this country, and what is fundamentally right and fair, be reaffirmed. I very much hope that this ruling will help to eliminate the all too pervasive discrimination against sexually non-conforming people in all areas. I hope too, that employers, family members, friends and co-workers will begin to understand variations in sexual orientation and identity from a basis of knowledge and not fear.

“We all owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the ACLU, for without them, we would not have had a trial, or be having this discussion today.”

Category: Transgender Community News