Deborah Nicole: My Story, Part One

| Jun 12, 2023
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I sit here today in our home and studios surrounded by hundreds of dresses, wigs, skirts, tops, lingerie, cosmetics, heels – everything so feminine and beautiful. How I got here is a long truthful amazing life story.

All of us admire the incredible beauty of a female — everything from her beautiful body to the fabulous fashions she gets to wear everyday. So much so we all wish to share her lifestyle — and do our best to emulate/copy something achieved by someone else and try to do it as well as they have.

I have lived this lifestyle since I was in my early teenage years and truly believe I have experienced every aspect of the positive and negative trials and tribulations of any transgendered person.

I use the word “ transgender “ to describe myself for in my opinion it best describes how I am without any negative or sexual or deviant words. I dislike the words  “transvestite” or “transexual” or “shemale etc.“ for they bring back painful memories to be covered later.

I was born and grew up in a small village in Ireland — where everyone lived a good but tough simple  life. Just another Irish boy in almost every way — except for reasons I did not understand I felt I was different from other boys my age. All of my male friends were rough and tough, liked team sports like soccer, and looked at mothers and girls about my age with respect. Later as we developed as males the sexual side of our lives became normal reality. I hated all sports – and almost anything related to anything masculine.

I much preferred to be around other girls who seemed to accept me in a more friendly way. I loved how they all looked in their pretty dresses compared to the boys dressed in trousers and jackets.

I loved how they practiced their makeup, fixed their hair, wore different clothes each day, doing all they could to be as attractive as possible. How I envied them  and wanted to be with them and like them in every feminine way. While other boys were out playing soccer and fishing – I was happy making drawings of female figures and fashions – all hidden away from any discovery.

At that time I was fairly small as a young boy – about 5’ 8” – 135 lbs. – and with almost no body hair.

I was about 15 when I first saw a naked female with all her curves, in a nudist magazine in a small bookstore.

I was about 15 when I first seized the opportunity to wear my first pair of female panties.

Those two events were to change my entire life forever more.

I honestly felt I must be the only person in entire world who had the misfortune to want to change my sexual identity from male to female.

From that time onward I became determined to perfect the ART of female impersonation – to change my identity from male to female. I also knew I had to keep my secret dreams to myself and have no risk of discovery from family or friends. Back then a male wearing any female attire could be arrested by police, thrown in jail, with details published in all newspapers.

I began to borrow, steal, buy female underwear and clothes and hide them away from everyone.

Finally one day I had a complete female wardrobe including a female wig — and finally a time when I knew I was going to be alone with total privacy to begin for first ever time to dress in  female clothes.

To say it was all exciting would be a vast understatement and have to admit arousing!

I increased my female wardrobe over the next few years — and dressed privately as often as I could.

When I was around 18 years old my family moved to London England.

I also began to work with makeup — trying to look as feminine as possible. I learned quickly practice with cosmetics was essential — and loved the dark sultry look was the way I wished to look.

My first London job was in a large office building — filled with hundreds of females – and never before had I ever seen so many beautiful women, all dressed in beautiful fashions as office girls did back then. Pantyhose had not been invented then so all seemed to be wearing stockings.  How I admired them all and my passion for female clothes became even stronger. With my small salary I was also able to spend most of it on new female clothes — and discovered the magic of lingerie.

The discovery of the adult Soho district in London opened up a new experience for me, I began to see for first time another side of adult life. This made me even more determined to make my gender transition as beautiful as possible as I checked out these amazing female “entertainers“ in the nightclubs.

I would visit the adult bookstores and read with fascination all about crossdressers and envy the pictures of these males who looked like females. This was way before the Internet.

Then one day I discovered a magazine that would change everything in my life.

I discovered Miss Coccinelle from Paris France —  a male who was now an almost  complete female.

She became my new female role model — complete with beautiful female breasts – looking as sexy and beautiful as any woman could be. I would read her bio and look at her photos for hours – and do all I could to look like her — with her long blonde hair, her female curves, her fashions, her drag entertainment, she was my idol — my inspiration– my dream girl.

To be continued. . .

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Category: crossdressing, Transgender History


About the Author ()

A lifetime cross dresser - who just LOVES being a female - and who loves wearing all the fabulous female fashions. Every day I get dressed as Deborah - a different female look each day. I am addicted to all kinds of female fashions - especially lingerie under dresses and skirts - always with pantyhose or stockings - high heels, long wigs, and lots of jewelry. Deborah operates one of the largest male to female transformation services in all USA - and love transforming males into females.

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