Be Appropriate

| Nov 2, 2020
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Appropriate, rule number 2, so very, very important. Please don’t complain about not being accepted if you are not dressed in an appropriate fashion for your age, for your body type, for your surroundings. If in fact you are not, that is completely your prerogative, but you cannot expect to be accepted or treated as any other woman by society in general. Let’s talk about this further.

If your goal is to blend or assimilate, which is mine, then you must dress like any other woman your age. I am 59 years old, so I want to dress like any other lady my age. That doesn’t mean I don’t wear a short skirt on occasion (I like to feature my best asset, my legs). I pick my spots, take a bit of a fashion risk when in the right circumstance. For example, I have worked Pandemonium, a huge gala held by Cleveland Public Theater. I wore a very short, tight fitting dress one year recently. But that was what the event called for and so I was completely accepted and at ease in my surroundings. When I attend Sunday services, I dress accordingly, in a modest dress or knee length skirt and blazer. Think about how a woman your age would present herself for the circumstance. I have seen far too many wearing clothing designed for a teenage hooker. Backless dresses and giant heels. Most women simply don’t dress that way. But if that is what you like, go for it—just don’t expect to blend.

Please dress for your body type. I am fortunate, I worked my behind off (this was NOT God given) to get thin. I sacrificed, ran, worked out and ate well to attain my figure. Dropped a ton of weight. It’s now a way of life for me. Therefore I am able to reap the benefits in the type of outfits I can wear. If you are thicker, heavier, then make the adjustment. We all want to be that rail-thin model, but if your body doesn’t allow for it, then make the necessary adjustments in your wardrobe.

Dress for the occasion. As the saying goes, don’t wear a ball gown to the bowling alley. That doesn’t mean you can’t stretch the boundaries. I will often wear a dress shopping or for dinner. While many women no longer wear dresses, some do. But I may go casual with a cute denim jacket to blend better. Now, when I attend a play on Playhouse Square, then I can get dressed to the nines if that is what I want. Watch other women. Notice how they dress, what types of shoes they wear, what they wear and where they wear it. Don’t overdo it. I’ve seen “sisters” out in the wild and some try too hard to wear every single possible article of women’s clothing all at once. Be feminine but stylish.

Working at Pandemonium.

Act like a woman. Comport yourself as a woman does. I fool no one. Yet in hundreds of outings, nearly thousands of situations, in front of tens of thousands of people, I have had not one single negative experience. I have received thousands of complements, every single one was because they knew who and what I am. There is tremendous kindness out there.

Being appropriate is so very important to blending. Please note I will never discuss “passing” as I know nothing about that. I never have “passed” and I never will. Confidence, next!

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Category: crossdressing, Style


About the Author ()

Kandi is married with two grown daughters. Her wife is fully supportive. Under normal circumstances, she goes out usually three times a week, either to her church, as a volunteer or to do what women do! She volunteers for over 25 organizations and makes no apologies about who she is and has found complete acceptance by the general public.

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