Aging While Trans and Happy Holidays

We again this year have the Winter Solstice occur with a new moon, making things extremely dark. This is why so many far northern cultures developed the Yule festivals in the first place. Of course practices from the Yule are what are seen now in the Christmas tree, the Hanukkah and Kwanzaa candles and many other winter holiday features. We work to bring light into a very dark time in our lives.

While the TDOR statistics do not show any seasonal change, many people become very despondent during the holidays. It is much harder for us in the trans community, because so many have lost birth families, and do not have children of our own. We do have our chosen families, but it often doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

For those of us advanced in years there are other fears to face too. My wife is facing dementia. Will the holiday trip we take this year be our last ever? Will she be in a nursing home next year? How am I going to pay for it? Who is going to care for me, if she is in a facility? Because then I’ll be living alone… It’s a terrifying time for us, even unrelated to the holidays. I have contributed to trans aging articles, but never thought about what it was going to look like for me until this year. What a whammy! And because I was sterile, I never had kids, so like many of us, I do not have a bio family who will come visit me.

I have been trying for years to get a pulpit. My hope was that if I had a pulpit, maybe I’d have a congregational “family” and they would take care of me at the appropriate time. But, thanks to ageism, ableism and transphobia, that probably will not happen either. So I’ll probably have to find a queer friendly assisted living home at some point too.

We all have demons that we have to face, aside from the world situation, the economy, the environment, and everything else. I want to honor every one of you out there who continue to live. “Persistence is Resistance!” Staying alive and being a thorn in the side of those who oppose our existence is amazing.

I pray that we all try to find some happiness this holiday season, however it is that we observe it. And most of all, I pray that we all find a way to STAY SAFE this holiday season.

In the Navy we used to have the motto – Illegitemi Non Carborundum – that is corrupted Latin for “Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down!” Please – keep on going and let’s check in again in January.

Peace out,

Rona

Tags: aging, featured, spirituality, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul