You Are Getting Old When. . . .

We see them often. They might come as a Facebook posting. They might come in a birthday card. The first one I received was not just a birthday card; it was a 40^th birthday booklet telling me that if I were over 40 these were things that were happening to my body and those were things that I could remember that younger people could not. I guess it is another sign of getting older that now I cannot remember any of the ‘getting old’ suggestions in that card. I cannot refer to it because a few years ago I passed the card on to a son who was turning 40. I guess you’re getting old when your children are turning 40.

What are some examples I’ve seen recently?

Well there was “You’re getting old when you remember your family phone number having two letters and then five numbers.” And “You’re getting old when you remember your dad letting you stand on the front seat and lean on the dashboard as the family car cruised down the highway.”

Heck. Let’s face it you’re getting old when you know the difference between ‘you’re’ and ‘your’ and can use each correctly, same with ‘there’, ‘their’ and ‘they’re’.

People on Facebook tell me that I’m getting old because I obsess about such things.

What has all that do with crossdressing? My tough-as-nails editor, Angela, will surely flush this column (I’m getting g old when I call it a column instead of a blog) if I don’t relate it to crossdressing or something transgender.

It was a few years ago that the reality of aging first hit me in make-up coated face. I was at a club called Triangles. (You’re getting old if you can remember Triangles). It was turning out to be a fabulous party and I had linked up with two apparent crossdressers. Twenty or thirty-somethings, they were thin, tall and pretty. Both could walk in stiletto heels. We had not known each other before the evening but we were getting along very well. I had images of the three of us back at my hotel suite rocking the night away on that king-size bed. It did not bother me that from time to time I made references to memories that they had no idea about. “Paradise in the Poconos,” I commented, “they were fun.” My new friends stared blankly.

It did not bother me that I had children about their age. However I felt old when I let slip to my new friends how old I was. From that point a chill descended between us. My two friends subtly found a way to exclude me from their group. I guess the idea of having sex with someone as old as their parents did not really appeal to them. Now that I think of it . . . EWWWW!

So fast forward to yesterday. I had the opportunity to be out and about as Linda. It is an opportunity I sometimes pass up these days but yesterday the air was cool and crisp. I felt like taking a walk in the park and then seeing and trying on what was new on the racks at Ross and on final sale at JC Penney’s and of course doing it as Linda. It was really a fine day. I missed having someone to walk with but that was okay. My walk was in the type of community where all we older people say hello to each other. I got a lot of hellos and I returned them. People might have been wondering why I was not walking a dog like most everyone else but I don’t think any were giving any thought to my gender.

Same thing at the stores. Well there were no dogs at the stores but there were no looks of wonder at this tall, muscular frame under a favorite skirt and blouse. At one point we had a bit of a laugh as a shorter, heavier Afro-American lady and I came out of our changing stalls about the same time both wearing white, knee-length, low cut ‘special occasion dresses’. “Oh, that’s cute. I love the frills around the hem,” she said of mine.

The dress was cute. I loved the way it hugged my padded butt. I was glad my tape job was allowing my cleavage to show to best advantage. Under $20 at Ross that dress would have been a sure buy a few years ago. ‘But where would I wear it?’ I thought. My favorite nearby T-friendly gay club had closed and been torn down last summer. Singles dances are long a thing of the past.

My how times are changing. That’s what I thought as I drove home after trying on 16 items (two armfuls of the maximum allowed eight items) at Ross and about five dresses at JCP and buying nothing. To the best of my knowledge at neither store had I raised an eyebrow, caused a snicker, turned a head or received anything but welcoming comments from staff members.

I remember when it wasn’t always that way. I may be getting old but I remember when a trip to the mall was almost certain to elicit giggles from any group of teens that might happen to be around.

So let’s all have some fun. Join me in writing out some of your favorite ‘You’re Getting Old When’ situations.

For instance someone in their twenties or thirties might think they are getting old when they remember shopping for shoes at Payless or dating online through CraigList’s T4M. Those weren’t that many years ago but they are things that are never coming back.

You are getting a little older if you remember Southern Comfort in Atlanta, Beauty and the Beach, Tri Ess, Virginia Prince and TV/TS Tapestry.

You are getting much older if you remember The Queen Mary, Backstreet, Cartwheel, Club Edelweiss and the original Ziegfeld’s and if you remember Paradise in the Poconos and the ‘Texas T Party’, Compuserve, Alta Vista, Lycos and their text based discussion groups starting to open up the windows to the TG world.

But all that is child’s play. Those of us who are really old might remember being concerned when being out en femme, even driving our own car, that in certain states we could be arrested on the spot for impersonating a female.

If you are really getting on you may remember Gateway Gender Alliance in America and the Beaumont Society in Britain. Wow those two organizations sure meant a lot to me back in the day. How about Transvestian? When that monthly newspaper first published an article of mine I was both elated and scared. Would anyone recognize me? If you are of the same age you may remember those Penthouse digests that often ran crossdresser themed stories among their many stories meant to elicit new rounds of masturbation from their readers. Then how about Drag Queens International, Female Mimics and Britain’s World of Crossdressing. Yes there was life before the Internet although the timid crossdresser usually had to find a way to invest in a commercial mailbox to learn about it.

Aging is not always fun. We older folks seem increasingly susceptible to aches and pains and to a slowing metabolic system that has us packing on the pounds if we are not careful to adjust our diet. However there are many things we have that our younger sisters have not yet found. Those are the memories of our lifetimes.

We may look back and say ‘those were the good old days.’ Or we may say, ‘how did I ever survive that era?’ It doesn’t matter. The older we get the more times we can hear the saying, ‘You know you are getting older when. . .” and look back and say to ourselves, “yes, and it’s great!”

Now, how about you? Would you care to add a comment and tell us what you remember from your ‘good old days’ or ‘bad old days’ of crossdressing? I would love to hear from you.

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Tags: aging, crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender History, Transgender Opinion