Ninja Beauty Secrets — Stochastic Musings

This month we’ll look at some random thoughts that fill my head from time to time. An ode to my old scholar geek days, the title is nothing more than an impressive way of saying “random thoughts.” We’ll tackle a few tgirl issues and learn some cool tips, too.

Age Appropriate

Some girls always dress in the same style every time they go out and a few people have pointed out that certain girls might either be stylistically challenged or have some kind of love or fetish for a certain style of clothing. These girls think in terms of outfits rather than matching clothes. “Just look at all of the girls and you can kind of tell what age they want to be,” one person said. He didn’t say exactly that, but close. As we all know, we must strive to dress appropriately for a situation, but should there be a rule for age as well? At my parties, you can dress however you want so long as you’re not naked or wearing nighties. I even invited someone who likes to dress as a rabbit to come. I’m not so strict in my beliefs on dressing my age because, truth be told, I’ve worn some pretty wild costumes in my time, costumes that 20-something dancers would wear, but it was always for a crazy theme. I can dress conservatively or like a wild child and still look rather good either way because I have the body for it. Some girls who don’t dress their age wear things that are too small or too tight for their bodies. Others might wear clothes that only hookers would wear because they like the hooker look. Both of these choices are just plain wrong. What I advocate is not dress for your age, but dress for the occasion and dress for your body type with some consideration of your age.

Nail Tips

I like the paint-your-nails-a-wee-bit-away-from-the-cuticles look. When expertly done, it looks like you’ve been wearing nail polish for a little while. Two coats of color are all I need, but your mileage may vary based how well polish stays on your nails. When you paint your nails starting from your cuticles, you run the risk of touching the cuticles with the polish, which looks bad. Apply two coats of polish and allow five minutes of drying time in between coats. If you use a polish with a glossy finish, then you won’t need a top coat. I rarely use a base coat anymore because I keep my natural nails smooth and buff by filing them every few days.

Omissions

People have asked me why I don’t wear a bra and I jokingly reply it’s because I’m a feminist. If my headlights show, well, you shouldn’t have been looking there! Along the same lines as not wearing a bra, it’s quite liberating not to wear lipstick, too. I noticed the only women at brunch who were all made up were the two twenty-something hostesses and a middle-aged lady behind us. You can’t just omit wearing makeup because that simply won’t work on most trannies and some trannies simply don’t look passable with the natural look because they don’t look feminine or androgynous enough without any makeup on.

Focus on…

I tell the natural look trannies to focus on their eyes more than anything else. Line the eyes, wear light eyeshadows, and apply a single coat of mascara on the lashes. Add a little bit of blush and lip gloss and you’re all set. If you’re that girly-looking, omit the lip gloss, too. But then I talk about hair again and two-thirds of you with severe male pattern baldness will scowl at me, but here’s the truth. When you grow your own hair and style it appropriately, that truly cements the point home that you’re serious about being a woman and onlookers can easily see that. They will leave you alone. A slight buzz-buzz-buzz can turn into a loud giggle-snicker-haw-haw when you have too many girls at the table who look more like they’re ready for a gala dinner at a tranny convention than midday brunch. My TREAT group is actually open to anyone who wants to join us for brunch and I make every attempt to accommodate all of our guests by seating us in a location where everyone would feel most comfortable.

No More Wigs?

Some of you might think I’ve given up on wigs completely, but here are before and after pictures from this weekend for a glamour shoot I did. From Plain Jane to Boa Diva!

For more ninja beauty secrets, purchase Natural Makeup Techniques or Secrets to an Awesome Makeover from my web site (will open in a new window).

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