The Return to the Office

In March 2020, the Pennsylvania commonwealth shut down numerous “non-essential” businesses and industries during the onset of the pandemic. My employer was mercifully deemed “essential”; however, our work became remote for what was expected to be a few weeks (and ultimately became 18 months). At the time, I was just beginning the process of transitioning on the job, and was enjoying a more open and relaxed work life as a result. So having to withdraw to a solitary home office indefinitely was very much a disappointment.

I longed to return onsite with my colleagues, especially after I was internally recruited to a new position in September 2020 that I very much enjoy. But except for the first day with my new manager, or for brief visits to repatriate some personal items from my office desk, I remained offsite with no real hope of seeing anyone during the day. As a single person, life quickly became very lonely – one could even say “remote” – and remained that way into 2021. Each workday involved spending 15 hours at home in my bedroom, either at my work desk, or in bed asleep. The novelty wore off quickly.

As restrictions eased this spring and summer, and the appropriate due diligence was performed at the individual and corporate level, anticipation grew for our return. Finally, a September date was announced, as was a new remote hybrid work policy – everyone onsite at least three days a week – and a more relaxed casual dress code. I chose to be onsite daily; I have a short commute, and I couldn’t wait to resume a normal work life without having every professional interaction take place in my home, and through an electronic medium. (I hope market speculators were able to sell high on their Zoom shares.)

It seemed to me as the date approached that our return was going to be like the first day of a new school year – we would all get to see everybody’s new hair, clothes, cars, etc. Any personal improvements (or deteriorations) would obviously stand out. And for the recent new hires, it would be like freshman orientation, trying to learn and adapt to everything as quickly as possible.

This historically-minded TGForum contributor was tempted to make an analogy to early 1942 when, shortly after Pearl Harbor, American troops were forced to evacuate the Philippines in the face of an invasion (and subsequent rapid conquest) of the islands by superior Japanese armed forces. The American commander –- one General Douglas MacArthur –- made a famous vow to the Philippine people at the time of his unwilling departure: “I shall return.” Towards the end of 1944, when the fortunes of war had decisively reversed, he did exactly that.

“I have returned.” (1944)

While pressed khakis, aviator shades and a corncob pipe are not this lady’s style, I still hoped to make a confident new first impression to my colleagues – most of whom had not seen each other live in person since March 2020. Fortunately, I had maintained a decent standard of dress even while working at home, only growing lax when our return to the office was imminent and the summer heat was in full swing. The weekend beforehand, I made a salon visit to freshen up both my manicure and my noticeably longer hair, all the better to confidently resume office life.

The day finally came, and the weather was gorgeous – sunny and mild. I took full advantage of the new dress code and chose a recently purchased black tee and print linen blend shorts, with black wedge sandals and some fun new gold tone earrings for my now-pierced ears. (No more clips for me!)

I have returned! (2021)

I arrived early to set up my personal effects at my new desk. With the updated floor plan, this is in a very desirable location, with colleagues near at hand, and a sunny window seat no less. Between my handbag, laptop case, lunch bag and walking shoes for lunchtime, I’m still getting used to carrying multiple bags in and out with me each day, but I’m adapting quite happily. I used to joke with a particular colleague about all the bags she would carry into the office with her each day; she will certainly have the last laugh now!

Several colleagues were already present, and we were all very glad to see and greet one another. Having only joined my group last fall, I am thrilled to finally be able to work alongside everyone, under essentially normal operating conditions. Wearing a soundproof headset for meetings will take some getting used to – especially if bulky earrings are involved – and sadly I can no longer openly stream classic hard rock and heavy metal at full volume while I work. (Kudos to my employer; my work laptop has terrific speakers.) But this has been more than compensated for by having personal visitors and conversations at my desk once again.

My coworkers were already becoming used to my updated look before we went remote. Nothing about that has changed since our return. Everybody has continued to be perfectly respectful and professional – from individual contributors like myself, all the way up to senior leadership staff with whom I have had the occasion to interact.

Many female colleagues – my manager included – have been openly enthusiastic. I quickly lost count of the times I was freely told how nice I look, and the compliments that I received on some aspect of my appearance, in just the first week alone. I made personal efforts to facilitate this; as an avid home gardener, I shared some surplus produce with interested colleagues. This led to visits from people I had genuinely missed for over a year.

Initially, I didn’t spend much time away from my desk, since I was not always sure where to find everyone – and with the new remote hybrid policy, not everybody is onsite each day. I generally follow the lead of others, as far as visiting and conversation goes. But there is always a smile on my face for everybody. I realized just before we returned that I had developed a frozen image and perception of people going back to last year, remembering them as they were then. I am glad to have begun the much-needed refresh process. After just one week, I already felt more human again.

Photo credits to my manager!

Adjusting to a relaxed casual dress code has been easy enough. The outfits I have worn to the office were well received. Other ensembles for the first week included a sleeveless patterned tunic top with black pants and black flats; a white long sleeve tee and cami with an A-line animal print cotton skirt and nude wedge pumps (all the better to show off my tanned legs, which I have often been told are my best asset); and a mixed media polka dot top with bootcut blue jeans and brown ankle boots. I felt completely comfortable at all times, in every way.

And the perceived improvements go beyond simply my attire. My manager happened to mention how my entire demeanor has completely changed for the better since my transition began. I had always considered myself personally accessible, but it seems that I am now thought of as more so. Since it is again possible to work onsite instead of remotely via webcast, we are finally able to have casual conversations. Sometimes this has included fashion and style. We have both mentioned to each other how glad we are to be working together in person.

I have been at my employer since the 2000s, and many of my coworkers have similar (if not greater) levels of longevity. But with a recent new hire in my group, it occurred to me that I will increasingly have colleagues that will only know me post-transition. For them, I will simply be an established fact, along with my personal and professional credentials. That will be a new and welcome office experience. I intend to justify the confidence that has been placed in me.

So the return has gone very well. I am back where I belong, and so grateful to finally see an end to unwanted isolation. Here’s to new beginnings!

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Tags: featured, opinion, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Opinion