Retro Rerun: Horror Comics . . . featuring crossdressing

It’s time once again to dip into the horror comics and look at a couple of stories with a crossdressing slant. Crossdressing isn’t integral to either the plot or the scary stuff in the two stories, but they’re worth noting nonetheless.

 

If It Looks Like a Woman and Talks Like a Woman. . .

Our first story “The Night of the Chameleon” from The House of Mystery #237 (November 1975) is one of my favorites, largely because it was one of the very first crossdressing comics I discovered. I was delighted that such comics existed and I started collecting them because it was a way to connect with my passion and still stay in the closet. Even when I purged what little TG things I had, I always kept the comics.

Our story opens with an interview taking place on the steps of the courthouse. Mr. Smathers is explaining how he will be testifying against the mob. An attractive woman reporter pushes her way through the crowd.

“Do you male chauvinists think you could let a lady through to ask a question?” The other reporters harass her.

“Sure, doll, go ahead! Ask your dumb question for the woman’s page and then get outta here so us real reporters can cover the news!” She hands Mr. Smathers her microphone and leaves as he begins to answer her question. Moments later, the microphone explodes. Standing in a nearby alley, she congratulates herself, “One stoolie down, one to go! It sure is lucky for me that cops are so stupid!”

Back at the scene of the crime, a policeman says, “That woman reporter got away, Lieutenant! Slipped away into the crowd!”

The lieutenant responds, “Of course he got away!” They don’t call him ‘The Chameleon’ for nuthin’!”

“You mean that good-lookin’ dame was. . .was a man?”

“I mean that good-lookin’ dame was a certain Eddie Baker! Eddie ‘The Chameleon’ Baker. Trickiest hit man in the business! The Chameleon’s a master of disguise, a genius at impersonation!”

Our last femme image is of the Chameleon in his hideout, still wearing most of his disguise, contemplating his next move.

The Rest of the Story

Although there isn’t any more crossdressing in the story, I’ll go ahead and fill you in on the rest. The Chameleon’s contract is to kill both witnesses, Smathers, as well as Dorsey who is in the hospital. The Chameleon sneaks into Dorsey’s room disguised as the Lieutenant, and kills him by hanging. The body is found while he is still in the hallway. (Maybe because he took so long to hang him, instead of a thousand quicker methods?) To escape he darts into a patient’s room, smacks him over the head and stuffs his body in the closet, removes the lieutenant disguise, and jumps into the now empty bed. The ruse works, and he is free to escape, or so he thinks.

Just as he is ready to leave, two orderlies come in to wheel him down to surgery. He goes along with it to keep from bringing attention to himself, but he is unable to escape before they get to the operating room. He tells them he is the wrong patient, but they proceed to operate anyway.

What a delightfully ironic ending, you say. The man who has made a career of impersonating others is operated on through a case of mistaken identity. Sorry. Comics aren’t usually that subtle. Instead, it seems that when he is wheeled into the operating room it’s a kind of Twilight Zone and his surgeons are. . . Smathers and Dorsey! Ghoulish zombies anyway. And our master of disguise ends the story as the new owner of a frontal lobotomy. Heavy handed? You could say that.

A couple of comments. I think the reason I loved this story so much, even though the crossdressing is very brief, is that when he is dressed as a woman he is attractive, convincing, and when he claims to be a woman, he is completely accepted as one. My only nitpick is the scene where he is in his hideout. He is still wearing the female outfit, although his mask and wig are on the counter. However, in the foreground is the newspaper with the headline “Witness Slain” which means it must be at least a day later. Did he sleep in that outfit, or did he change into lingerie for the night?

With a Name Like Maggots, It’s Got to be Good!

Our other story comes from a short-lived black-and-white comic magazine called Maggots. The story is from issue #2 (January 1992) and it’s entitled “A Dinner to Remember”. Two bad Marilyn Monroe impersonators are arguing. The dialogue is so inane, it’s worth quoting in its entirety.

“I got nicer buns than you any day, Ally!”

“Shut up, Jerry, just shut up! You knew I was gonna dress up like Marilyn — I told you that over a month ago!”

“No way, Al, you said Tina Turner! And how was this scheme supposed to help us pick up girls at the Halloween party, anyway?”

“Simple, simpleton. . . whenever we go to a party, what do we see?”

“Pimples?”

“No! Ya see girls dancin’ with each other — it never fails! Right?!”

“Yeah, but it failed tonight.”

“That’s because you got us kicked out! You didn’t have to dance with that guy, y’know!”

“Well, I just wanted t’ be sociable!”

“Shoot, these high heels are killin’ me!”

“Yeah, does yer bra itch, too?”

“Yup. How do women do it?”

“Ya got me. I think it’s in their hemorrhages.”

“You mean hemoglobins!”

“Hey, hey! I ain’t no scientist! I’m gonna be an English major!”

Not what you’d call rocket scientists. Or sympathetic characters, for that matter. You do kind of wonder about the guy he was dancing with, though. Gay? Blind? Hard to say.

Meanwhile, Back at the Branch

In another part of the woods a man, Mr. Spacolli, is tying a young woman to a tree. He accuses her of being a witch and convincing his wife to commit suicide. She protests her innocence and claims to only be a palm and tarot reader in order to put herself through college. He is clearly distraught to the point of insanity as he prepares to “burn her at the stake” having put her “devil-tools” out of the way until he can destroy them. She almost has her hands free as the fire starts to burn.

What about our Marilyn wannabes? They stumble onto one of the girl’s fortune telling tools.

“Looks like a crystal ball! Well, great guano, what do ya see?”

“An ugly woman with a five o’clock shadow lookin’ over my shoulder!”

Having nothing better to do, the ‘Marilyn’ who picked it up throws it into the woods, and it accidentally conks Mr. Spacolli in the head. The girl, now free, greets them and thanks them for saving her. As a reward to our heroes she invites them to her house in an hour for a Halloween dinner. She says they’ll be eating Italian. One ‘Marilyn’ says, “It don’t matter, Babe. . .we’d eat anything!”

After they leave, excited about their opportunity for the evening, our pretty coed turns into an ugly witch, grabs Mr. Spacolli and snaps his neck. Hope our heroes are hungry!

A rather uninteresting horror story, with crossdressing thrown in to try to add a little eccentricity. I hate to admit it, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for the “heroes”. Thank goodness they didn’t claim to be transgendered. They can’t blame us for these guys.

A master of disguise and a couple of dweebs. Trick or treat? You decide.

All copyrights belong to the original publishers.

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Tags: comics, crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment