Reasons vs. Excuses
Kandi at home.
A disapproving spouse, a reason. Children, a reason. A public profession, a reason. COVID-19, a reason. There is a lengthy list of reasons we chose not to go out in public. All are valid. Even lacking the courage is a completely valid reason. We want to be comfortable when out.
What I want to address are excuses. The biggest is a disapproving public. That is an excuse and an invalid one at that. I do not say this flippantly. I have been out hundreds and hundreds of times (those days seem so long ago), been to thousands of different places (not as many), been seen by tens of thousands of people (seems like ancient history now). Have I rolled a few eyes? Almost certainly. But have I ever, and I mean ever, been made to feel uncomfortable? Not one single time, never, ever.
Have I ever passed (as a genetic woman)? Never, ever. Yes, I blend in, but that is 100% due to the effort that I make. It’s about where I go and how I dress. It’s about studying human nature and knowing how people go about their lives. I am by no means petite, by no means attractive, I am tall for a woman and my style probably gets me more noticed (in a positive sense) than not.
Are there disapproving groups and/or organizations? Sure. But people, individual people in circumstances that follow my rules? None that would ever express them in those circumstances.
I wholeheartedly respect any reasons you may have for not going out. I have some myself, we all do. But I will not accept excuses if you truly wish to be out, be free to be yourself. An unaccepting general public is simply an excuse, a myth. ‘Everyone in town knows me’. Go to another town. Either find a way or don’t complain because you are choosing not to get out. Again, as a choice, it is a very valid reason. Just acknowledge that.
Now I know there are exceptions, there will be someone who has not had the same experience as I have. You must remember who I am and how I go out however. I am generally considered a crossdresser, clearly male to anyone paying any attention. If I were transgender, full time, my ability to pick my spots would change and then I am sure my experiences would be different, very different. I don’t have to earn a living as a woman. I don’t have to do everything one needs to do in life as a woman. I am not speaking from that perspective, nor would I ever. These are unbelievably brave people. They have had so many more difficulties than I could ever imagine. Just imagine something hanging over you like that, every single minute of every single day of your entire life. Brave doesn’t do it justice, they have my undying respect.
Looking good as a blonde.
I am simply talking to my CD sisters. There is a way, a way to do this, safely and intelligently. I am not naive enough to think hate, evil doesn’t exist. Recently, an idiot simply decided to shoot up a grocery store in Boulder, Colorado. The day before I originally wrote this essay some time ago eleven Jewish worshipers were gunned down at services in Pittsburgh. Sickening! But that is our world. We all must continue to live, attempting to mitigate the risks of simply living. Our attire truly is a nonissue. I’ve now been out somewhere near 800 times, so I speak from significant personal experience. Reasons are valid. Excuses, please put them aside and live your life.
Like to make a comment? Login here and use the comment area below.
Category: crossdressing, Out & About
About the Author (Author Profile)
Kandi is married with two grown daughters. Her wife is fully supportive. Under normal circumstances, she goes out usually three times a week, either to her church, as a volunteer or to do what women do! She volunteers for over 25 organizations and makes no apologies about who she is and has found complete acceptance by the general public.Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
