Of Guilt and Camouflage
Moral Weakness or Something Else?
I’m into my eighty-third year on this planet. This would make about seventy-one years of crossdressing.
One of the pleasures that I have rediscovered this year is cruising my local Dress Barn to gawk at the assemblage of female coverings all the manikins display. Dress Barn manikins are always displaying the latest style, and color, combinations.
This rare pleasure of non-guilt remains only if I do not purchase something that I really do not need. Which of course rarely happens at Dress Barn. There is always something that will go so much better with something I have than what I have been wearing with it. Of course, the combination in question was concocted one other time I was in the store.
Is this all a conspiratorial plan, or something playing on moral weakness? At least my moral weakness.
Sweet Temptation.
I’m an eighty-three-year-old crossdresser. My age and today’s security-conscious observant environment certainty curtail my female escapades. Therefore, I presently have many more female outfits, then I need. Or so it would seem hence the guilt when I purchase something.
Strangely, there is even more and longer-lasting guilt when I don’t buy something I saw. Is it all about looks, this moral weakness of mine? Being a crossdresser, of course it is and always has been about looks. Viewing this conundrum from my male engineering perspective it’s about camouflage.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: “Camouflage is the use of any combination of materials, coloration or illumination for concealment, either by making animals or objects hard to see, or by disguising them as something else.”
This definition describes my female transition process to a tee. I use material (clothes), make-up, wigs, accessories, etc. I also use coloration, which is very very important with everything feminine. If I get this basic combination right or almost right and put it on my body, I will have disguised the male me into a reasonable facsimile of a female me. Reasonable of course is the key word here.
I am constantly trying to perfect this reasonable female illusion. The only way to accomplish this is more and different materials and color combinations. Which is the real reason for cruising Dress Barn in the first place. It has nothing to do with moral weakness. It’s all about perfecting camouflage.
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About the Author (Author Profile)
Suzzie has been crossdressing for 71 years. Her first 23 years were in the deep closet. She has been out of the deep closet for 48 years. However, living square in the middle of the “Bible Belt” she still has to get behind the closet door from time to time. And age 83 has certainly curtailed her dressing somewhat. Suzzie has been retired for 18 years. Before retirement, she was a veteran, husband, father, pilot, engineer, and a CEO. After retirement, she has been busy becoming a published author. She is currently finishing her third novel.Subscribe
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