I’m Going Back Into The Closet!

Really, I’ve had it. I can’t live like this anymore. Some big changes have to be made. It started out small. A skirt here, a dress there. But now it’s out of hand! I’ve gotta get back into that closet and make some hard decisions.

Once upon a time I had so few items of ladies attire that I could keep it in an old suitcase hidden in the basement. That was back in the day when I was married and my wife knew nothing of my proclivities. Some time back in the last decade though I passed into a higher level of wardrobe. Through constant bargain shopping (or as I refer to it—meditation) I was able to get so many clothes that I couldn’t remember what I had.

I toyed briefly with the idea of a pictorial, digital database, but that would have meant taking a photo of each piece of clothing and working my way through the whole closet. Not gonna happen.

Today, I knew it was time to get serious about sorting, organizing and (shudder) tossing clothes. I got out my summer items and put away some winter things. Several years ago I bought a couple of large, plastic bins that were designed to hold your Christmas decorations and slide under your bed. I use them to pack away the out of season clothes and keep them stacked up on the top shelf of my closet. After taking out the summer stuff and putting in the winter stuff I heaved them back on the shelf, looked at the closet and realized I still don’t have enough room for all those clothes.

Several weeks ago I thought I should do something about the closet and pursuing that impulse I went to Home Depot and got a good, stout piece of pipe, some fittings and a couple of 2 X 4s. I drilled and fastened (no fingernails were broken) and ended up with a sturdy bar on one side of the closet that was immediately filled with clothes. Things were more organized but there was no relief from overcrowding.

Now I know that I have to face the facts. My closet is not a Tardis (geeky reference to Doctor Who’s time/space ship) and it’s not bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. I can only fit a limited quantity of feminine apparel inside its doors. (Most of the skirts already hang outside the closet on a special rack under my elevated bed. That was an early attempt to ease closet crowding.) I am going to have to get serious.

But girls… it’s so hard. I stalked and hunted each and every one of my little friends. I carried them back from the stores in elegant shopping bags with built in handles and in large plastic bags from T. J. Maxx and Ross. All my friends are here in this closet. I gently placed this treasured skirt here on the lower bar. I lovingly hung that special two piece halter dress (a major bargain!) where it would wait for that fabled time when those couple of extra pounds of back flab will melt away and allow me to actually wear it. And over there… why yes, it’s that Calvin Klein dress that I got for $5 in a Macy’s clearance sale. It’s just next to the Betsey Johnson dress that I got for free in the Super Secret Discount sale at Lord & Taylor. Who was more surprised? Me or the sales clerk? I don’t know but by God it’s purple and I love it! I can’t let it go!
Let me compose myself.

Hard decisions must be made. Will I be man enough to do the womanly thing? Will I be able to throw open the closet doors, walk inside boldly and start hauling things out, evaluating them with a critical eye (does this fit? Will I ever have shoes to go with this? Just what color is this?) and then take the discarded finery to the Goodwill store? We will see. Yes, we will see.

Category: All TGForum Posts, Transgender Opinion