Holiday! It’s Gonna be…

December arrived and, with it, the holiday season. The month is dominated by what are, on the surface, Judeo-Christian holidays, but seem more and more to be celebrations of Greed.

Which in the U.S.A. is a cause for celebration.

Now before certain readers scream “War on Christmas” save it. I don’t subscribe to Fox News’s annual histrionics fest.

In any case, I’m not here to write about Greed. There CAN be good things that come of this season. Yes, Sophie is looking for a bright side.

I work in retail, and have for over a decade. Before that, I worked in the hobby game industry for 13 years, and before THAT, in bars/restaurants. So this season has been misery for most of my life. I hate it more than I hate Fox News. There’s more to the story, but, well, I’m trying to be positive.

“How, Sophie?” you ask. “How can you positive in the face of the torrent of unbelievable abuse that customers unleash during this time of year?”

It’s difficult, but I think about two things. The first is my daughter and how much she loves Christmas. The second are my Sisters and Brothers. Yes, all TG people reading this and even those who aren’t. But especially those who do, because you’re reading my column.

Yes, I play favorites.

In any case, I think of my fellow TGs. I am still easily clocked (and will be until someday when I can afford FFS) most of the customers know I’m TG by looking at me. This means I am probably the first TG person with whom many of them interact. So I do my best to be cheerful and efficient. I want to put a positive face forward for the community. Maybe by their interaction with me they will have a more positive reaction when meeting other TGs.

Maybe.

I see it as quiet activism — just like when I start frequenting a business until I’m seen as just a customer instead of a sideshow attraction. My biggest success with this has been bars. There are several bars locally that I started patronizing often before I went Full Time. I kept returning, enduring stares and comments from other patrons and occasionally from staff. I tip very well, so the staff began to remember me for doing that. Soon I was a regular, and a welcome one at that. The staff at one place has even defended me (and other TGs) on a couple of occasions from hostile customers!

I’m far from the only one who does this. Angela Gardner here in the Philly area has been kicking down doors for years with her Laptop Lounge parties. (Shameless Plug) My friend Christen Bustani has been doing it up in New England for a good while. Actually, there are so many that I couldn’t name them all without this column becoming an honor roll.

So what does ANY of that have to do with Christmas? That’s simple. When you get down to the core of these holidays (whichever version you celebrate) it’s about Love and Giving. For example, Christians believe that God gifted us with baby Jesus. But these days, the concrete feeling of Love and the spirit of giving often get lost in the madness of the season. It’s important to remember that many TGs have been ostracized by family and friends for the crime of being their true selves.

So wouldn’t it be in the spirit of the season to reach out to our Sisters and Brothers? If only to assuage the loneliness for a while: A phone call, a note, an invitation. For example, my roomie Linda was cut off from her parents because she’s TG. I made sure she (and my other roomie who is half a continent away from her loved ones) was included in my Thanksgiving plans.

Simple gestures of friendship can go a long way. They may even keep someone alive.

So that’s my point: give a thought to your TG Sisters and Brothers this season. Who knows, you may even enjoy it! I know I did.

Happy Holidays, dear Reader!

Tags: featured, giving, greed, holidays, opinion

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion