Femme Nails on the Down Low

As crossdressers we love to emulate the things that women do, and wear what women wear. Many women enjoy having long nails decorated with colorful (or dark and foreboding) polish, or even adorn them with designs and jewels. Those of us who cross the gender barrier regularly, spending time as ladies on the weekend and spending the work week in male mode, can find it difficult to indulge in long, painted nails. But it can be done.

There are two ways to enjoy femme nails without revealing to your friends and associates that you are a crossdresser: Wear your own nails or use fake nails. (Telling everyone you’re a crossdresser makes everything a lot easier but we understand not everyone is ready to be that open.)

Growing Your Own

If you decide to keep your natural nails long enough to work for your femme presentation you will want to be able to pass inspection when you’re in male mode. Overly long nails on a man cause people to wonder why those nails are so long. How do you keep your nails from making people wonder? There is a length that is long enough for painting but not so long that they attract attention when you’re being a dude. The shorter nail trend is helpful to us as many women have adopted it meaning we don’t have to grow ours too long. To find that perfect balance length you need to let your nails grow out. Keep them more blunt than sharp or rounded and wait till anyone makes a comment about the length of your nails. When someone finally asks about them say, “Oh, I guess they need trimming.” Try to adopt an expression that says, “Now how did I not notice they were getting that long?”

The next time you meet that person and they see your nails be sure that you have filed them back just a bit. Most likely they won’t say anything if your nails look a bit shorter.

Behavior Modification

Some of your movement can give undue attention to your hands. Most men don’t talk with their hands. Some do like to gesticulate but in general male hand movement tends to be more sedate. Try to keep your hands still while you are conversing in male mode. Waving them around to emphasize points gives people a better look at the length of your nails. If possible keep your fingers in your pockets. Don’t do this so much that people begin to get suspicious about it. You don’t want them talking about “weird Dave in accounting. You know the guy who always has his hands in his pockets?” As a woman you want to use your hands to direct your conversation, much like a conductor directs an orchestra. In femme mode proudly show off your nail art. That’s why you want to paint them in the first place.

Fake Nails

Rolled up tape with fake nails.

For many years I kept the majority of my nails short. I say that because I kept my thumbnails longer. I used “press on nails” on all my fingers, but my thumbnail was too wide and I could not find a fake nail that fit. I kept the other nails short since I played the guitar in a band and not knowing how Dolly Parton can play guitar with her super long nails I kept my nails trimmed.

If you can get fakes that fit your thumbnails by all means use them. I did find that having the thumbnail real made it easier to grasp things without having to worry about an opposable thumb launching its nail across the room.

The great thing about fake nails is that you can pre-paint them. You can take a piece of cardboard (the kind that comes in a package of pantyhose works well) and place rolled pieces of tape on it. The tape is rolled with the sticky side out so it sticks to the cardboard. After you have filed the fake nails to fit your individual fingers (you want them to fit snugly against your cuticles so they look as if they’re growing out of the cuticle) you carefully press them down onto the tape in the order they will be applied to your fingers. When they are firmly attached you open your nail polish and slather it on. Two to three evenly applied coats should give you a professional nail salon finish. Allow each coat to dry throughly.

If you keep longer thumbnails all you need to do on the night you’re going out en femme is to paint your thumbnails, wait till they are completely dry and then stick the pre-painted fake nails over your other nails.

Sticking Them On

Avoid nail glue. There are two reasons for this. First off it messes up your own nails. After using nail glue for awhile you will find your nails becoming thinner and more brittle. If you are planning a long stretch of crossdressing such as a convention or a week’s vacation en femme then you may want to use nail glue. You can also visit a nail salon and have tips done by a professional. They are more likely to last for your whole adventure. Which brings us to the second reason to avoid nail glue.

Nail glues are brittle. When you press the fake nail down onto the drop of glue the bond that forms won’t give under ordinary pressure. If you tap a nail on a hard surface with enough force it will give — quickly and completely, sending your nail flying across the room. Or if you are pulling up your pantyhose too much force can leave a nail stuck in the hose waistband.

Pre-decorated and painted nails.

Press on nail tabs are better. (Be careful adjusting your hose, though. Press ons can pull off.) They are essentially an adhesive. You peel off the paper on one side of the tab and stick the adhesive surface onto your nail. (Clean your nail throughly before you start.) Then after smoothing it down you peel off the other side and press the fake nail into place. Stick the edge of the nail that goes next to your cuticle in place first then press down on the rest of the nail. The advantage of an adhesive is that it is not brittle. If you happen to knock a nail onto a hard surface the bond doesn’t snap. It is likely to give a bit but you can press the nail back down. It should hold until you can take time to replace the tab. Be sure to have some spare tabs in your purse.

One disadvantage of the nail tab is that the adhesive will lose it’s sticky nature if you get water under your fake nail. No hand washing. Keep them dry.

If you can’t find adhesive nail tabs in the nail care section of your local drugstore you can get The Breastform Store’s Double Sided Tapes for Breast Forms and repurpose some of it for nail adhesion. Cut out tabs to fit your fingers. It is made of the same type of adhesive as the nail tabs; a flat adhesive sandwiched between two strips of paper. Not as simple as the precut tabs but just as, or more, sticky.

If you don’t want to bother painting your fake nails there are all kinds of pre-painted and decorated nails available in most beauty sections of your local drug store. Whether you decide to grow your own and keep them at that perfect length for either gender or you go for press ons — have fun with your pretty nails!

Those are my nail tips for CDs who wish to have lovely nails when en femme but need to not have people wondering what’s up with their nails when they’re being manly. If you have any other tips on how you do your nails to easily pass back and forth across the gender border please share them in the comment area below.

Tags: crossdressing, fake nails, featured, manicure, opinion, press-on nails

Category: Style, Transgender How To