Do You “Really” Need Those Shoes?

Dear Readers, I hope you are all. . .uh. . .”enjoying” the New Year. Whatever. It sure feels like the past year—which was not one for the books, eh? So, what do we do when we are feeling overwhelmed, sad, and welded into our various domiciles? Well, we mainly eat too much and drink, which has made a lot of us add on the pounds. So, Pandemic=Overeat. And Over Drink. And what are we going to do about that?

Probably, not much. So, the following activities are intended to help you get and (possibly) remain calmer, more organized and less like running and jumping from a high window.

1. GO THROUGH YOUR FOOTWEAR! You know as well as I do that you have waaaay too many shoes, boots, thongs, and slippers. What I do, every few millennia, is get them all together in the same place, and start sorting. Arm yourself with various bags, boxes and labels—and let SortFest begin. Categories matter.

a. Have I ever worn this? No? For how many years? If it’s more than 45 years, let it go. Or 4 to 5 years. Shoes are not forever; they dry out, get cracked, decompose and become smelly. OUT.

b. Does it fit beautifully? Well, keep it if you LOVE the footwear—you do get a few get outta jail free cards, for those foot-coverings you just LOVE to bits.

c. Would anyone but YOU be caught dead in this footwear? No? If said footwear is comfortable, clean and just wacky, give ’em a year of parole. If you don’t wear them in another year, they gotta go.

d. Weed out the duplicates! DO you, who is not a marathon runner, really need 6 pairs of sneakers, or trainers, or tennis shoes? NO, you need TWO pairs—one clean and cute, and one that is supportive, comfy and hardworking.

e. The only real exception here is for Red Shoes, and sequined heels. There is no such thing as “too many red shoes”, or an overabundance of sequined and beaded shoes. Both are ART, and deserve our support.

While you’re in the neighborhood, why not take the Fast Train to Pursetown? Got 89 small, jewelly bags? I do—and I really don’t need them. In my dreams, I have a wall which is dedicated to accessories; it has clear acrylic shelves and boxes, to display the candy-apple red beaded vinyl elf boots that will never fit; the size 6 rhinestoned cobalt-blue slingbacks and many tiny bags shaped like giraffes and tulips.

For Bag Jettisoning

a. Does it creak when you open it? Yes, Then it has dried out and is a wreck. 86 it.

b. Is there a leaflet promoting Calvin Coolidge, and more than ten desiccated Kleenexes in there ? Old gum? You know what to do—toss it.

c. IS IT HUGE? One only needs possibly two very large bags, unless you plan a shoplifting spree with the kids and cousins sometime soon. Or you have a baby, in which case you need TWO very large bags.

d. And this is the clincher—DOES IT SMELL?

There! You now have a much larger closet, and one that smells a lot less like a locker room. And you can. . .get more shoes and purses.

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Tags: crossdressing, fashion, featured

Category: crossdressing, Transgender Fashion