Knock, Knock! Open the Closet Door — Let the Truth Shine In

Dear New TG Friends,

Sex and gender are among the globe’s hottest “it” topics. Every new day marks a sizzling headline featuring a crossdressing, transgender, or transsexual experience. Canadian beauty queen Jenna Talackova, Chinese dance sensation Jin Xing, and everyday heroines and heroes are standing up to be recognized and replacing the go-to, laughably misunderstood stereotypes too often referred to in the past.

Don’t we want to know what’s really going on? Isn’t it more beneficial to understand the true underpinnings and challenges related to crossdressing and gender identity? As the ex-wife of a crossdresser, I obviously find it highly insulting when the media perpetuates lazy, untruthful myths about crossdressers. What has always been missing is the naked truth.

In a word, crossdressing is complicated. How one deals with crossdressing determines whether or not the experience proves harmless or induces grandiose pain. In a world quick to judge or condemn, keeping secrets may seem to be the safest alternative, but for how long? Forever? At what cost? Wouldn’t you want to tell the truth and be free of the shadowy burdens of secrecy?

Many male, heterosexual, married crossdressers have shared with me that they don’t know how to disclose a truth they see as shameful to their wives, partners, or families. Many crossdressers’ wives have divulged that they secretly know all about their husbands’ secret but are too afraid to say anything. Like too many of us, I discovered the truth about my crossdressing husband years after we exchanged wedding vows. I believe a relationship without truth has little chance of achieving happily ever after.

Having lived a life in the shadows, I know what it’s like to have people on the outside not see what’s really going on behind closed doors. At times, I was certain I was due to unravel. No matter where you might be in your journey, of all the thorny options confronting you, honesty may be the first step towards rebuilding a life based on the solid foundations of truth and understanding.

Like many of us, I wanted to be part of the solution. Sharing my experience, I thought, could help pave a safer path for those trailing behind me. So, back in 2006, I founded my non-profit, Cross Dressers Wives, and its website, crossdresserswives.com. Today, my mission remains simple: to help educate and guide crossdressers’ wives — and society — toward a deeper understanding of an issue that needlessly ripped my marriage, family, and life to absolute smithereens. I wanted to help erase all liability of shame and eradicate any desire for secrecy. Now, once again, this rare opportunity to speak up and be heard is knocking at my door. Or is it our door?

I have been approached by a top production company about collaborating on a very special documentary series focusing on people who struggle with crossdressing in their marriage, relationship, or family. Yes, some marriages are happy and trouble-free but unfortunately, they do not represent the norm. I am only asking for people to come forward who seek genuine help and want healing.

If you need help telling your loved ones about your situation — either from a crossdresser or crossdresser’s wife point of view — the very best expert medical guidance will be made available to you. This will be a safe, respectful environment with the goal of achieving answers and resolution, not ripping lives apart.

This project is non-exploitative and will treat each participant with the utmost sensitivity and respect. If you or someone you know is interested in participating and or appearing on TV (possibly in disguise) please contact me directly via email.

Please briefly tell me about yourself, the nature of your experience with crossdressing, and how it has affected your life. Be sure to include your phone number, city, and state where you live. Thank you for your interest in this unprecedented new project! I look forward to hearing from you.

Blessings & Gratitude,

Dee

Tags: closeted, featured

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion