Has it Been Twenty Years? Really?

“Hey Linda, do you remember the first time we met?” That was Karen’s greeting for me as we met once again at a club in Florida.

“Yes, of course, it was a few years ago at a Texas ‘T’ Party,” I replied.

“No, it was twenty years ago at a Texas ‘T’ Party.”

“Oh my gosh! You are right!” I exclaimed as I looked at my watch for some strange reason. “Wow but time has flown!”

“And how things have changed!” Karen exclaimed.

The Texas ‘T’ Party was a huge, really huge gathering of the transgender community held for a number of years in the early 1990s in San Antonio. The chief organizers were Linda and Cynthia Phillips. One was transgender the other was her wife. A book could be written about those two and perhaps has but when you now Google Texas T Party you are more likely to find stuff about some right-wing political movement or an annual gathering of owners of really old Ford motor cars than about that pivotal event in my life.

Karen’s comment caused me to think about the Texas ‘T’ Party and how it deflected my life’s journey down a changed path. Let me bore you with some of the details.

As anyone living the life of a mostly closeted transvestite/crossdresser/transsexual in the 1980’s and early 1990’s will know living in the shadow and occasionally scratching around for information was not easy to do. I had been luckier than most as my travels had allowed me to find out about and subscribe to TV/TS Tapestry and Transvestian as well as get bulletins from Britain’s Beaumont Society and something called Gateway Gender Alliance. It was through one of those publications or perhaps through several that I learned about the annual Texas ‘T’ Party where over 1000 members of the ‘transgender community’ would gather and we would be free to go about the convention hotel dressed en femme, we would be escorted to nearby shopping malls, attend seminars and banquets – you know all very standard stuff for those who now attend the Southern Comfort, Be All and similar events.

As luck would have it the winter/spring of 1995 found me ‘between situations.’ I had a good severance from my previous situation so I decided to sign up to attend the ‘T’ Party, drive there from Canada and attend an IFGE convention in Atlanta a week later. I knew I would be dressing and playing as Linda both on the way and at the two events but little did I know how influential particularly the ‘T’ Party would be on my life.

I determined to be 100% Linda from arrival to departure. That included making sure all my registration and contact information was in my Linda name. That turned out to be fortunate as one of the ladies who checked me in happened to be from my home town. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My first need was to find a way to change to my femme identity after my overnight trip from Pensacola FL. What would you do? The male me walked in to a motel, found a room where the previous occupant had left and left the door open to let the maids know the room was empty. Presto, an hour later Linda was back on the road. Believe me, that was a new level of ‘ballsy-ness’ for this girl.

What were the ‘T’ Party highlights for me?

• On checking in one of the first people I met was Phyllis Fry. She was not only a strong advocate in the legal community for TG rights she was a keen golfer. She happened to be organizing a TG golf tournament for us, she said, and would I like to sign up. “Yes!” I exclaimed thinking that I would be checking off something that was on my — later to be named- bucket list and not knowing that golf en femme would become a favorite and regular activity for me. After the golf game Phyllis lead us to lunch at a large and popular roadhouse style restaurant. No seeking out quiet gay-friendly restaurants for her.
• Being Linda 24/7 led me to shaving and applying makeup twice a day. That took a toll on my face but I persevered. But some time during the event as I complained about the small cuts on my face and neck a friendly person took me aside to tell me that shaving with an electric razor then switching to a blade razor for femme weekends was not a good idea: go blade all the time, she said, it will keep your face fresh and cut down cuts. I have followed that advice ever since.
• The dinners and banquets were a great way to get to know one’s table mates. I met an older family doctor from, I think, a small town in Wyoming. The doctor was much loved in ‘his’ community so when he revealed his other self there was a bit of consternation but generally the community had rallied around ‘her’ and even welcomed her in to their social life. I thought at the time that in Small Town Wyoming it is more important to keep a good doctor than to run a ‘perv’ out of town. But as I got to know them I changed to thinking that good things will happen to good people.
• I met other couples and individuals who showed me that we T-girls come from so many backgrounds and occupations. In the club scene of my previous experience the girls often are of more limited means and experiences. Besides the doctor my new friends were teachers, lawyers, business people, members of the military and even a preacher.
• I met Jim Bridges the make-up artist from Los Angeles and the owner of a boutique bearing his name and located next to the Queen Mary Show Bar. He assured me that the Queen Mary had cleaned up their act and it was again a safe place to visit. From then until their closure the QM and Jim’s store became regular destinations for my holidays.
• I learned it is not how you look that is important; it is how you feel. One rather large girl had been intrigued by a dress I was wearing. She asked to try it on so we went to my hotel room. Frankly she did not look great in the too-tight dress but she loved it, REALLY loved it if you know what I mean. She offered to buy it for the price I had paid and I accepted
• However none of those encounters led to the change in my life as this next one did. In truth the change would have happened later anyway but I’ll always associate my attendance at the ‘T’ Party as giving me a head start on this change that has revolutionized the lives of so many TGs in the last 20 years.

Can you guess what it was? What do the terms Alta Vista, Lykos, Gopher and Compuserve all have in common? World Wide Web?

One evening as we sat at a banquet table one of my table mates, a lady from the DC area, started handing around business cards. She had been talking about how she was able to use her home computer to exchange messages with people around the world and was able to post messages for anyone to read. She was also able to search for information anywhere in the world. She described how she was using the computer to run a bulletin board for the exchange of information for crossdressers. She described how messages would bounce between computers and special satellites until they found their destination. That rang a bell with me. A few months earlier a friend had told me how he was going to the local university to exchange messages with his wife who was working at a university in Australia for a couple of months. I was very interested in what my new friend was saying but doubtful that I would ever own a computer let alone gain the savvy to connect to this World Wide Web. Nevertheless I was convinced that this could be a better way of communication than getting letters and magazines in a postal box.

It was not long after my return home that IBM had a sale on home computers with built in modems. I was an early customer. I was surprised how easy it was to connect to the web through my phone line (and how easy it was to get knocked off the Web when someone phoned me). Around the same time Windows came along, modem speeds got faster and the Web became the Internet.   I found out that Linda could have a separate e-mail address from my mail identity. I found TGForum, at the time run out of ‘executive offices’ in California and the rest, as they say, is history. All that came from a chance conversation at the Texas ‘T’ Party.

What is the point of all this self-recollection? Twenty years ago I had a choice to make — go to the Texas ‘T’ Party or stay home. Getting to and from the ‘T’ Party was going to cost me a fair bit of money and time. I could have used that time seeking employment or enjoying spring skiing. Instead I chose a longer road. The result of my choice was a whole lot of encounters and experiences that I did not expect. It is possible that I could have gone to Texas and not had those experiences but for sure if I had not gone to Texas I would have NEVER had those particular experiences. Girls, get out there and experience life! Whether it is a trip to a big event such as Southern Comfort  or a small intimate one like Gal’s Spring Fling, a trip to New York or a trip to the mall get out there and experience your life to the fullest.

A final note: I told you if you Google search ‘Texas T Party’ you will be directed to right wing politicos and old cars. However if you search ‘Texas T Party Transgender’ you will find a whole lot of references to the convention, the Phillips, Phyllis Frye and a whole lot of other useful information and OMG! There is my photo and an article I wrote for TGForum four years ago where I happened to mention the ‘T’ Party.  Those search guys are good!

Tags: conference, crossdressing, featured, History, Texas "T" Party, Transgender

Category: Transgender History