Book Review: The Difference, Growing Up Female in America

The Difference, Growing Up Female in America
By Judy Mann
Warner Books 1994

In the 1960s feminists were burning their bras and a lot of us were jealous because we didn’t even own a bra! Have you noticed that the foundations (particularly corsets) and clothing women reject as being subjugating are positively liberating for those of us who enjoy crossing the gender line? Ah, yes, if she hadn’t been called Earth, we would know her as Irony to be sure!

Actually, according to the author of a book I recently came across, Earth is known as Gaia, a living, breathing entity that exudes the female spirit. Judy Mann describes a time throughout much of human history when pantheism and Goddess worship reigned. She makes the case that the dichotomy between gender roles and behaviors arose largely from the rise of monotheism and our patriarchal society.

The book gives the reader the kind of history lesson they won’t find in the average textbook. Her examination of the ways in which women have been systematically pushed down and kept back are deeply rooted in the fact that for thousands of years females were blamed for original sin, dominated by a patriarchal system that among other things, sanctioned the torture and persecution of women believed to be witches. While textbooks may give a passing reference to the Salem witch trials, they were merely the culmination of practices that women suffered for millennia.

There is an entire section devoted to child rearing and the educational system. Judy’s daughter was in middle school as she was researching for the book and their discussions provide first hand insights on many of the insidious ways that women are systematically degraded and denied their own humanity. She spoke with her daughter’s friends only to hear how girls are labeled as either a “slut” or a “prude” while predatory behavior by boys is accepted and even lauded as a measure of their success. They spoke openly about the pressure they felt regarding body parts, weight and appearance. And she examines how our social mores and folkways reinforce the notion, from a very early age, that girls just can’t do math and science as well as boys. There are interviews with women educators and administrators as well as those in the fields of science, social services and virtually every other professional endeavor.

In addition to interviews, Mann cites research to support her analysis of the many ways in which males and females are raised and receive subtle and not so subtle cues as to how they will fit into their roles in society. In so many ways, it is the societal expectations, reinforced by family, peers, the media, and so forth, that take the biggest toll in pigeon-holing men and women into preconceived roles. Our binary model shackles men and women alike from achieving their greatest potential by limiting people from expressing their masculine and feminine characteristics.

It is the inability of society to acknowledge and accept those on the continuum, somewhere between stereotypical masculinity and femininity that gives the transgender person so much difficulty. Someone recently commented that they didn’t so much feel they had been born into the wrong body as into the wrong culture. In a society that is steeped in patriarchy, a male presenting as female is still seen as somewhat comical if not threatening to the status quo.

For me the book reinforced the concept that the characteristics which are labeled as feminine, are in fact, the most human traits to which we should aspire. It provided me with much to think about as I mentally transition away from a lifetime of societal conditioning. And while I realize that the qualities judged to be masculine or feminine are not relegated to either sex exclusively, it is the nurturing, communicative, sharing aspects of femininity which are the more enlightened aspects of being human.

The book was written in 1994 and many changes have occurred since then, none the least of which is the predominance of women earning advanced degrees and holding professional positions of power. By the same token, we see advertisers targeting girls at younger and younger ages to dress and act sexy. The media, more pervasive than ever, continues in so many ways to reinforce the very notions that keep the “battle of the sexes” alive, perpetuating age-old myths about what it means to be a woman or a man.

The Difference contains an incredible bibliography and has already given me new sources to read.

The Difference
By Judy Mann
Hardcover: 317 pages
Publisher: Warner Books; First Edition edition (August 1994)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0446517070
ISBN-13: 978-0446517072

Available at Amazon.com

Tags: featured, femininity, feminism, gender role

Category: Product Review, Transgender Body & Soul