The Moral Dilemma of GRS
This article about trans kids disturbs me. Sure, I know who the target audience is, but it’s articles like this that give me pause. They talk about body mutilation and how the neo vagina is like a “wound.” I know GRS is . . . what it is. There’s no alternative except to not get it. There’s no magic pill to turn us into genetic females from birth. I realize this is the only way that we have to make us physically congruent and whole. We have to turn to the medical field and the growing number of surgeons who perform Gender Reassignment Surgery or Gender Confirmation Surgery.
But, is this all right? Is it moral? I am on the cusp of starting the process of GRS. I am just about to receive my two letters from separate therapists. This would lead to actually starting the long wait for this important surgery. There’s really no going back after GRS, at least not if you want to be a man again with parts intact. These articles from shady or ultra-conservative sources remind me of that fact. In some ways, the writer is right. It’s a moral dilemma. Should we be cutting into our bodies, or even taking man-made pills to alter our bodies, just to chase a dream of being whole and correct? Our bodies will never be like a genetic female’s. I sit here on this side of GRS and I just don’t know if it will be worth it. I had a partner and friends that have had the surgery. I can only listen to their stories and trust that they are really happier and their dysphoria soothed.
It’s almost like getting married. You get engaged, you get close to the day of marriage and maybe you find out that it’s not right. Something gives you pause and prevents you from committing to a life-altering event. After the two people decide not to get married, they don’t just call off the wedding and keep dating like nothing happened. Usually, since the ultimate goal was not going to be reached, the couple part ways. There are exceptions, but usually the relationship just ends.
Sometimes, I do feel like this is all so unnatural. What the hell are we doing? We are taking man-made pills to trigger changes, thus, altering our appearance to match what our minds tell us we are. Surgeons cut into our bodies, which our mothers and fathers created, just to move flesh around so we can look closer to that girl or boy in our minds. Some get closer than others. Some are able to get closer because of genetics or money. I have been blessed with a genetic predisposition toward femininity. In some ways, this gives me hope that I am making the right decision in continuing this transition. Perhaps, I was minutely close to becoming a girl while in the womb, until something went arwy in the process.
Is it RIGHT though? That is the age-old question. How sure can one be that altering one’s body with man-made chemicals and surgical instruments is right? Some of us need to alter our bodies or end our lives. To some, this is a life-saving surgery. They cannot go on with living with the mind/body incongruence. I don’t believe I am of that mindset. I was having dark thoughts, especially in the dreaded middle-ground days right before hormones and name change. I am not exactly sure where those thoughts were emanating from or why they were there. I just knew that I felt released from a cage and needed to move forward.
In the end, however, GRS is a tried and true method. Harry Benjamin thought so. WPATH thinks so. The American Medical Association and psychiatric experts think so. Dr. Marci Bowers thinks so, being trans herself. She is my choice for this surgery. As one of my friends pointed out, microsurgery that ensures nerves are saved to have feeling in the neo-vagina is most definitely NOT mutilation. It takes a skill and a deft hand to create a beautiful new body part that looks and functions, for the most part, just like a cis woman’s.
This surgery, I feel, is right. Morality is up to the individual. Morality is subjective. GRS is one of the greatest marvels of modern medicine. It is one that, even though more and more surgeons are doing, is still left to a handful of specialized, MD plastic surgeons who make it their life’s work to help trans folks feel congruent and complete. I, for one, am glad they do.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am a transwoman originally from Pittsburgh, PA. I have been living full time for 5 years. I work in retail but am an artist/Graphic Designer and aspiring writer. I tend to address the controversial in my writing. I would love to change the world one article at a time. I moved to The San Francisco Bay Area to start over, again. But recently moved back to the East Coast. The adventure continues...Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
