What Dysphoria Means to Me

| Jul 30, 2018
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Hey guys!

This week, I wanted to talk more about my gender. I’m going to specifically talk about dysphoria. Dysphoria is different for everyone. Trans men and trans women have very different issues when it comes to dysphoria. Non-binary people like me have an even more different way of feeling dysphoria as ours is not solely based on the gender binary.

For those of you who are new to the concept of dysphoria, I’ll give a basic explanation of it. The word dysphoria means an extreme discomfort or a feeling of unease. Usually, dysphoria is related to gender, but it doesn’t have to be. (Fun fact: the medical diagnosis for being trans is Gender Dysphoria) So basically, gender dysphoria is feeling discomfort with gender-related things.

I personally only occasionally feel dysphoria at this point, and my experience with dysphoria has changed a lot over the years. When I was 14, I would feel extreme amounts of dysphoria about my chest and my Adams Apple. I use to plan to get surgeries, which I don’t anymore. A lot of my dysphoria went away when I started hormone therapy. I’ve been on some form of hormones for three years, and it has drastically changed my feelings of dysphoria.

Now this is the tricky part. I still sometimes feel chest dysphoria, but it’s the other way now. It is very confusing for me. Sometimes I wish my chest was smaller and less prominent. If this confuses you, it confuses me too. My plan for my next appointment at the gender doctor is to ask to be put on only anti-androgynes and not estrogen. I’m hoping that this will help me with looking more androgynous, even though I know it won’t affect my chest. I’m not going to lie; being non-binary is confusing, both for me and the people in my life. But I’m sure someday I will find the right balance of meds and I’ll take the steps to make myself more comfortable with my body.

How about you guys? Do any of you have dysphoria stories? Are some of you confused about gender stuff? I’m here for your stories and troubles. As always, there’s the comment area. I hope everyone has a great month!

Blessed Be,

M

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul

M

About the Author ()

M is an 18-year-old agender person who lives in Pennsylvania. They about to enter senior year of high school. Their preferred pronouns are they/them. Their favorite things are music, poetry, and dogs. M is an aspiring writer, activist, and psychologist. They look forward to being a part of the TG Forum community, and would love to share their perspective of the world.

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