The Occasional Woman — Summer Clothes

This column by Lorraine Anderson ran in June of 2014. It’s still good advice on summer clothes you can look pretty in and be comfortable as well. Ms. Anderson is on vacation and will return with a new column on femme fashion next month.

Hello, Poppets — and welcome to Summer!  For all of you who live in an area where it snows and crap like that, I trust you have gone up to the attic, down to the basement, or wherever you stashed last year’s summer wardrobe. Your next step — trying it all on, and trying to get rid of stuff that no longer fits, is waaaaay out of fashion, and you haven’t worn in the last ten years.

Here’s how I sort out the mountain of clothing and memories:

1. Keep — it fits well, makes me look cute, and has no huge stains.
2. Everything else — it’s got to go.

I do have one side box called “Will fit in 5 pounds.” NOT ten pounds — unless you are seriously doing Weight Watchers or something, ten pounds do not slide off like five can.

Mind the gap!

What are we talking about “fitting”? A big NO would be when you button a blouse, the buttons strain, and a gap appears? That would be too small, you may sneeze & have a button pop off and put somebody’s eye out. Pants & skirts — we all love muffins, but NOT bulging over a waistband. Try to get a rear-view look, and if things fit so tightly that you have Michelin Man bumps, 86 that sucka. Dresses bunch up and wrinkle at the back? Too tight.

Or, perhaps you were so depressed by winter’s icy grip that you didn’t feel like eating! Clothing that is too baggy is just as bad; it makes you look lost in your outfit, and does nothing to accentuate the good parts. And, if you sneeze, your pants may fall down.

On now to the most important part of Summer Wardrobing — you know I mean appropriate underwear. This includes massive amounts of sunscreen, especially in the neck & cleavage area — who knew that cleavage skin could look so reptilian? I keep sunscreen in the car, in my purse, near both exterior house doors, and actually use it.

Wick ‘Em moisture wicking bra

Bras in summer — wear’em! There are some nice new ones that have some sort of moisture-wicking properties, or check out some cotton ones, Playtex makes a good cotton/lace bra.

Here is a cheap, worthwhile summer heat tip — if you’re going to be in a bunch of sun, or any kind of sweat-producing environment, BEFORE you leave the house, tuck a nice washcloth under the front band of your bra.  It will keep the under-bra area dry, and your outfit will be much less wrinkly.  If it’s a whole washcloth, try to surreptitiously yank it out before you go into the air-conditioned haven you seek. I get towels & cut them into 2″ wide strips & finish the edges, so I can leave’em in there.

It is now okay to have whatever kind of bra straps hanging out any old kind of way, but It’s not okay with me. I don’t wanna see them! And ladies, if you are wearing a sheer black top, for the love of gawd please at LEAST wear a black or skin-colored bra!! Not a white one! JEEEEEZ!

Enjoy the wonder that is summer, and remember — bathing suits now come in colors, so even if you are a generously-sized human, you don’t have to wear a black bathing suit. It’s the beach, not a Greek funeral or wedding.

Contact The Occasional Woman via email with clothing questions or to request the creation of a special item of clothing.

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