Metamorphosis, Chapter 13

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12][Chapter 13]

The old man scans me up and down and Mark still wears that weird grin on his face. I fight so hard holding back tears, anger, and frustration. Our father smiles at me, looks back towards Mark, and then to me again.

“Raquel? I see now who you are,” he says.

“Oh yeah, who’s that? Someone you forgot about a long time ago!”

“No! I’ve never forgotten. You are my daughter the same as Mark is my son,” my father turns to Mark and continues, “Son, is this what you are to become? The woman you’ve always known you were. Well, I support whatever decision you make. I was a foolish old man set in my ways, I don’t want to lose either of you ever again.”

I’m nauseated and shudder with the thought Mark would believe this imposter. Especially the garbage he is spewing out of that filthy hole in his face. For the first time, I wish my real father was actually here to straighten out this ass. I long for the days of senseless misogyny and blind bigotry. 

“You see, Raquel, things have changed. We no longer have to live with this pain. He forgives us.” Mark approaches me with open arms.

I push him back and shriek, “You’re all imposters. Mark, you’ve proved yourself for sure. You were never a part of me — just some doubts I had once wrapped in a familiar face. And Dad, or whoever the hell you are, you and that phony excuse for a mother the Magistrate provided need some work. Seriously.”

The woman who claims to be our mother, waltzes out the kitchen and stands next to Mark. “Honey, why would you say that? You know we love you and accept you. It doesn’t matter to us who you are or what you do with your life. You are our daughter.”

“Raquel,” starts Mark, “I don’t understand why you can’t see you are the only thing wrong here. They are reaching out for us. We are home. We can live together as brother and sister here in this place. It may not be where we came from but it certainly is where I want to be, now. You let that old woman poison your mind.”

“Mark, don’t you see what’s going on here? That bitch told me in the kitchen that the goal was to tear us apart. You’re letting them win. We must listen to Lydia. This is not real, we don’t belong here. Please come with me and let’s finish this.” I extend my hand out to Mark. He backs away as if I’m holding a gun.

“Son,” my father speaks softly; he never spoke in warm tone. “She needs time. After everything I put you and her through. There is a life here that will welcome you to make the choices that are best for you. I love you and your sister. She must choose her own path and it doesn’t necessarily have to be the same one you choose.”

“You shut up! Mark, come with me. We can’t stay here. The Magistrate is playing a trick on us. We don’t stand a chance apart. Everything we are is somehow split down the middle. If we can’t make peace with each other than there is no way out, I know that now.”

Mark freezes and takes several moments to speak as my arm trembles waiting for him to grab for it. He must come with me, there are no other options. I mouth the words “come on” to him and he takes a step back next to those people. He chose a side. 

“I can’t leave. I don’t trust what that old woman said and I know you just want to destroy me. You want the man you used to be, gone forever. You’re a woman now and you don’t care about me. I was the one hurting inside, lonely, afraid, with no one to help me. Where were you then?” Mark shakes his head.

“What? You can’t be serious, Mark. We were always a lovely lady. Ever since we were just a child. We’ve always known it and you can’t deny it. We are transgender, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We are normal. The only reason why it was a problem was because of them! They wouldn’t let us believe it was real. There was always something wrong with us, something out of place, we were ‘confused’.” Tears stream from my eyes leaving a puddle beneath my feet. An ocean of tears I was already drowning within for all my life. “Mark, come with me, please.”

“Sweet Raquel,” my mother begins, “Mark needs us right now. Perhaps you should leave and find this Magistrate or return to where you came from. That might give you the closure you seek. He’s not interested in departing with you. Ever.”

“Raquel,” replies Dad,” My beautiful little girl, please find what you’re looking for and return to us.”

“Mom, Dad, let me speak with Raquel please,” Mark says and gently grabs my shoulder and nudges me over near the door. He whispers, “Raquel, I can’t go with you. I will not accept that one of us must live and other must die. Call it self-preservation, call it whatever you want. I need to be here and find out the answers. Why are they accepting us now?”

“Mark, this is a damn charade. Lydia said the other will cease to be—no one ever said die. What if its happiness? What if you’re giving up the only happiness you will ever know in your life? Please, don’t do this.” I begged.

“Lydia, as you call her is a liar. She is the Magistrate! Our father told me while we were upstairs. She is the one that is causing all these problems. Dad says the potion you drank caused two events — your transition and my re-birth. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“No Mark. I trust my heart and I know that’s not true. Lydia is telling the truth. How do you explain what fake Mom said in the Kitchen? She called me a bitch. Mom never ever put us down before.”

“She saw a woman, she probably didn’t realize who you were, yet.”

“She knew exactly who I was.”

“Lydia is the Magistrate, out to destroy us both. Is that so hard to believe? She gave you this false hope that a journey would bring you back. Do you even know what you’re going back to?”

“Well, no. I don’t remember, yet.”

“I do. You don’t want to know,” Mark frowns, his eyes point towards the ground.

“How the hell do you know?” I question.

“All of the memories have returned. I know, I just don’t want to tell you.”

“Then what? Tell me. What is missing from the story, Mark?”

“We killed ourselves. This is some kind of purgatory. Another dimension. There is no return because we don’t exist anymore. We’re dead.”

“No, no, no. I don’t believe that. I can’t believe it. We would never. . . .”

“We did. The pain was too great. This is our home now. Stay with me and let us live in peace for eternity. We are in heaven Raquel.”

“No,” I gasp. My heart feels like a wrecking ball against my chest. All the blood in my body rushes to my overwhelmed brain. I — I’m falling. . . .

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