Metamorphosis Chapter 15

| Dec 4, 2017

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12][Chapter 13][Chapter 14][Chapter 15]

With a cuff fastened to my wrist, and other attached to the steel bed frame which will not bend or break, there is no escape. Believe me, I’ve tried for the last couple hours. I don’t bother yelling for help because those bastards don’t deserve the satisfaction. There doesn’t seem to be hope of help from Lydia and I’m running out of options. The door swings open and my fake mother lingers in the doorway with a tray of food.

“Here is food to make you feel better.” The woman places the tray down on the mattress at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sure,” I respond sardonically.

“It will make you forget your worries. Eat and we will release you. You’re too dangerous right now. You’re not in a good place mentally.”

“I’m not in a good place period, bitch. And I’ve already forgotten too much, thanks but no thanks.”

“Raquel, you can’t win. You’re already dead. Mark told you the truth. This is purgatory and your judgment will be carried out.” Her smile reminds me of the devil himself.

“If I can’t win then why cuff me?”

“You are a danger to all we have worked for here. There is a balance, and you have disturbed it. The Magistrate is displeased.”

“Good for him. I aim to displease that piece of shit. Why doesn’t he show his face? Why send all his garbage to do the work for him?”

“Watch your tongue, Raquel. He can hear you always. I’ve made your favorite: chicken pot pie over mashed potatoes. Eat it and you will find peace. I promise that.” She grabs a fork full of pot pie, cups her hand under it, and pushes it towards my mouth.

I turn my head to the side and groan, “it smells like my mother’s food and I bet it tastes like it too. I wouldn’t eat that shit if I was starving, and it meant life or death.”

“If that’s what it takes. I’ll just leave this here. You’ll be hungry soon.”

“Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the end of all things, Raquel. This is death. Enjoy the pot pie, I’m sure you’ll find it to your liking.” The woman walks out and doesn’t look back. Is it possible she is some kind of robot? Could a human be so emotionless? Not my real mother. 
I try to process what little information she gave me and make sense of it. I know in my heart I’m not dead, but its peculiar I cannot remember much about why I am here. What of the voice in the sky that clearly stated the word, ‘beautiful’ at the lake? Was that God speaking to us? The scent from the pot pie fills the room and my stomach becomes angry with hunger, threatening my hand to take a bite. If I’m dead then why am I hungry? If I eat this food what will happen? I glance at the doorway and Mark is standing there watching me.

“Raquel, are you all right?” Mark asks with concern.

“Like you care,” I bark. My trust with Mark is broken, especially now I see him walking around — a free man.

“I was against the handcuffs. They insisted and I told them it wasn’t necessary. They figured you would just leave and complete the witch’s work. It’s obvious you are too far under her spell. She’s a damn liar,” blurts Mark. 

“Mark, her name is Lydia. She’s not a witch. You’re wrong, I promise you. Listen to your heart. Don’t you see this is not real?”

“Of course I do. This is better than real. If we’re dead, then at least I get to spend eternity with family. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and they have the rest of forever to prove me wrong.” Mark sat on the bed next to me and folded his arms.

“Listen,” I begin, “the best part of me is you and the best part of you is me. We are the same person. You inherited the doubts and disbelief and I was blessed with confidence and strength. But… it was you that wore the lipstick when Mom caught you. It was you that wore the lingerie when everyone was away from home. It was you that sat in the room dreaming of a world where you were shopping for a prom dress. It was you that asked our brother question after question about transgender people and cowardly said it was for a friend when he responded. You are Raquel. You were always me.”

“Raquel, you don’t remember much from when you arrived, do you?”

“Memories keep forcing their way back into my mind. I still have no idea how I arrived here or what caused my death — if I’m even dead. I know that’s what those people have been telling you but I don’t believe it. Lydia would have said something.”

“Cut the shit with this Lydia, please!” Mark jumps to his feet and paces back and forth as he continues, “We lived a miserable life. Never having the courage from within to do what ultimately would have made us both happy. I remember everything that happened now. Would you like to hear why we killed ourself?”

“Yes, I suppose I would if you truly know. Please, before you tell me, Mark, please, take these cuffs off, please.”
Mark stands there glaring at me, pursing his lips and scratching his head. “I wish I could. I just don’t have the key and they won’t give it to me until they’re sure you won’t cause any trouble.”

“Fine, then why? Why would I kill myself? Us? Whatever,” I relent.

“It was Adam.” He replies stoically without hesitation.

“What about Adam? How would you even know about him?”

“I told you all of my memories have come back, completely,” Mark begins, “He ended up being just another disappointment on the list of let downs we’ve experienced. He turned out to be what we always feared — just another person trying to get cheap thrills off some kind of fetish. The love we felt for him, combined with that — it was terrible. The worst. You don’t remember yet.”

“No. No, I know that’s not true. Why are you doing this? Un-cuff me now! You’re lying, you’re lying! Fucking lying!” I lay here cuffed to the bed sobbing as if someone had died, perhaps it was my soul. Is it my soul or Mark’s? Are we even the same person?

To be continued. . . .

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Category: Fiction, Fun & Entertainment

About the Author ()

Tell us about yourself...I am a transgender writer/blogger who is just getting started as an author and a woman. My"Metamorphosis" Series will be featured in Transliving Magazine starting in September. I have a lot to contribute and hopefully will be releasing a book in the near future! If you want to read more of my works please go to or follow me on Twitter @RaquelRSwann Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the thoughts, emotions, & worlds I continue to create for you. Love, Raquel

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