Calls from the Bone Garden
The Artist D, 2014
Dear Diary,
Another year has come and gone — again! This seems to happen every year. I struggle through the summertime heat only to dive into winter madness. Winters never last long enough. They’re never dark enough either. When I was growing up in rainy, dark and dreary Pennsylvania I used to think that the weather negatively affected my mood. After I escaped those lands and moved to a far more bright environment I learned that the weather had nothing to do with it. I love the rain. I love the snow. I love days that other people hate. That’s just who I am.
These days nearing the end of the year always bring back memories of friends long gone. There are so many folks I’ll never spend another Christmas, New Years or anything with ever again. I sit with Frank Cotolo on his show at the end of each year and we look back to those who have left us. There is always a long list of people we’ve never heard of peppered in with some gems that we’ve forgotten all too quickly.
I have always been haunted by death. With death comes a chance you will be forgotten forever … and we will. It is a guarantee that no matter how much of an impression you’ve made, you will eventually be retired. Most of us will be dusted away to a photo album or a scrap book. If you’re lucky you may grace the page of a history book. If you’re luckier someone may read that history book.
My point of view these days has been an accumulation of everything I’ve learned up to this point about death, dying and being remembered. It’s not what you do to be remembered, it’s what you did to add something to everybody’s existence. The biggest compliment to ever have bestowed from your world is that you contributed a wave in a giant galactic ocean.
Celebrities show us on a daily basis how difficult it is to remain relevant. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday if you didn’t do anything today. What they won’t tell you is that all those people who were inspired by you yesterday are different because of you today. That’s whether you’re here or not. That’s the only comfort I have about life, death and making something of this meat suitcase.
As I sit with Frank this year we’ll surely go through a long list of people we’ll have no idea made a difference to anyone. I know they did and we’ll probably have a clue as to how, but by next year they will be out of sight and out of mind. Just like a wave in an ocean as it passes you by. It’s pretty and it pushed you a little, but you keep on swimming.
Love and a very happy day (with an even happier dark, dreary evening),
The Artist D
PS: Roll Call from the Bone Garden airs Thursday, December 25, 2014 at 9 p.m. est. A Christmas night of reminiscing with Frank Cotolo and The Artist D on SRN1. Immediately archived after on Juiced Talk.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
The Artist D is a true raconteur and provocateur! He has been performing online since the mid 1990s. A relic from the cam show age before MySpace was any space. Author of In Bed with Myself, an autobiographical tale of transgenderism and Internet celebrity. Executive Editor of Fourculture Magazine and host of the Kawfeehaus podcast.Subscribe
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