Author Archive: CateOMalley

I am Cate, a mature transgender woman. I am a writer, blogger, parent, grandparent, sailor, activist and happy. I am a widow, and live with my yorkiepoo, Belle. I love music, reading, cooking, outdoors, DIY, theater, antiquing and flea markets, home brewing, and seeing what is around the bend in the road or over the horizon.

I own the MatureTransgender.com website. It is an outreach, support and resource for mature trans* people and especially for those who, like me, came out after fifty.

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Care For Our Elders

| May 21, 2018 | 1 Reply

Cate O’Malley has been a contributors to TGForum since 2014. Her posts have brought us useful information, entertaining notions, and some chuckles now and then. This will be Cate’s last post on TGForum (unless she is inspired and has internet access) as she takes off to hit the road and travel the land. Many thanks to Cate for her contributions. She ends them today with a post on the necessity of helping senior members of the LGBTQ community. It’s a good idea as we’ll all be there someday.

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Goodbye W.M.P., Hello Wonder Woman!

| Apr 23, 2018 | Reply

When you’re used to being treated a certain way it’s easy to forget that you are being given credit for you Caucasian maleness. Doors open for you and regard for your knowledge and skill in all areas is taken for granted. But what happens when you go from male to female? Doors may open for you but that’s because you’re a lady and gentlemen will grant you the favor of holding the door. But suddenly all the knowledge and skill you have in areas such as home repair, automobiles, and other stereo typically male interests is no longer acknowledged. The “little lady” must need help. See how Cate O’Malley handles patronizing men.

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Suicide: Not Painless

| Mar 26, 2018 | Reply

Cate O’Malley was moved to write today’s post when she read about the suicide of a promising young trans woman who seemed to have everything going for her. She had the support of her family and friends, was taking hormones and had her surgery scheduled when out of nowhere she took her own life. Cate wonders why she would chose to go through that one way door into eternity, and she wonders how many other trans people faced with more negativity than this girl dealt with have also contemplated taking their own lives. It’s not a cheery upbeat post but it is something we need to be aware of and try to prevent.

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Gender Fluid or Lazy

| Feb 26, 2018 | 2 Replies

Now that Cate O’Malley doesn’t have to go to the office every day and pretend to be a man she has the freedom to dress as she likes. You might think that she would spend her days in feminine frills and flouncy dresses. Skirts and high heels with lacy tops and the proper accessories. You would find, if you chanced to visit Cate in her Florida home, that while she is 100% woman, she is practical about her attire. A linen frock and high heel sandals would not be appropriate for cleaning out the gutters. Oh, sure. Cate and her wife could dress up for evening outing. With all the things to do around the house does she really have the energy to gussy up and go out?

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Live life with courage, grace and purpose

| Jan 29, 2018 | Reply

Cate O’Malley made a different kind of New Year’s Resolution to start 2018. Rather than resolve to stick to a diet or become a more responsible consumer, or cut back on imbibing alcohol or avoiding toxic people, Cate decided to resolve to stick to some fundamental principles to live by. Today she blogs about the three things she deems most important in living life. You may get a hint at what they are from her blog title.

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Am I Gay?

| Jan 1, 2018 | Reply

Last month Cate O’Malley wrote about the worry she had when she was young that her need to present as a female might mean she was gay. She withstood taunts from bullies who called her derogatory terms for homosexual. In her confusion she thought that maybe the bullies were right. Finally she came to understand that she is not a gay man. She is a woman. This month she wonders if, since she is in a romantic relationship with another woman, her wife, does that make her a lesbian?

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Am I Gay?

| Jan 1, 2018 | Reply

Last month Cate O’Malley wrote about the worry she had when she was young that her need to present as a female might mean she was gay. She withstood taunts from bullies who called her derogatory terms for homosexual. In her confusion she thought that maybe the bullies were right. Finally she came to understand that she is not a gay man. She is a woman. This month she wonders if, since she is in a romantic relationship with another woman, her wife, does that make her a lesbian?

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I am NOT gay!

| Dec 11, 2017 | Reply

When Cate O’Malley insist she’s not gay she does admit that since she’s married to a woman there may be some lesbian tendencies. What she means is, when she started to examine her gender one of her first thoughts was if she was a gay man. It’s easy to imagine that with all the publicity the gay community has gotten that one could equate their need to be feminine with being gay. But gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. See why Cate knows she’s not gay in her blog today.

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The Transgender Rule Book

| Nov 6, 2017 | Reply

After waiting fifty-plus years to transition Cate O’Malley wanted to get her hands on a trans rule book. She wanted some kind of guide as she set out on her gender journey. What she found did not seem adequate. There was the WPATH Standards of Care and Ethical Guidelines but that seemed long and complex. Not what she was looking for. Somehow she found the right path to her goal and in the process ended up following most of the WPATH guidelines. How does she new feel about the idea of a Transgender Rule Book? Read on!

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The Transgender Rule Book

| Nov 6, 2017 | Reply

After waiting fifty-plus years to transition Cate O’Malley wanted to get her hands on a trans rule book. She wanted some kind of guide as she set out on her gender journey. What she found did not seem adequate. There was the WPATH Standards of Care and Ethical Guidelines but that seemed long and complex. Not what she was looking for. Somehow she found the right path to her goal and in the process ended up following most of the WPATH guidelines. How does she new feel about the idea of a Transgender Rule Book? Read on!

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Camping While Trans*

| Oct 9, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley is retired, her wife is retired, and currently they are on their big adventure of driving around the southern states from campground to campground. While Cate identifies as a “girly girl” she really wanted to go on his trip. That has meant that there were some necessary adjustments to he usual wardrobe and grooming. High heels and dresses don’t work that well in a muddy camp ground. And while she’s used to Chanel No. 5 her current cologne is Eau du Bug Spray.

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Camping While Trans*

| Oct 9, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley is retired, her wife is retired, and currently they are on their big adventure of driving around the southern states from campground to campground. While Cate identifies as a “girly girl” she really wanted to go on his trip. That has meant that there were some necessary adjustments to he usual wardrobe and grooming. High heels and dresses don’t work that well in a muddy camp ground. And while she’s used to Chanel No. 5 her current cologne is Eau du Bug Spray.

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Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

| Sep 11, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley, with a hurricane looming on her doorstep, took the time to send us a blog for today’s New Content. In it she talks about the heroes of the trans community who have put themselves out there and advocated for change in an effort to make all trans people’s lives better. She also talks about the new trans activists who are making their voices heard. She believes that now is the time to fight harder to hold on to the gains we have made in recent years. The political climate has grown colder for trans people and we are under constant attack from right wing religious organizations that want us to disappear from the face of the Earth. See what Cate recommends that you can do to make things a bit better.

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Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

| Sep 11, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley, with a hurricane looming on her doorstep, took the time to send us a blog for today’s New Content. In it she talks about the heroes of the trans community who have put themselves out there and advocated for change in an effort to make all trans people’s lives better. She also talks about the new trans activists who are making their voices heard. She believes that now is the time to fight harder to hold on to the gains we have made in recent years. The political climate has grown colder for trans people and we are under constant attack from right wing religious organizations that want us to disappear from the face of the Earth. See what Cate recommends that you can do to make things a bit better.

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Proud To Have Served

| Aug 14, 2017 | 2 Replies

In 1968 Cate O’Malley enlisted in the United States Coast Guard. While she was not “out” as a trans woman she volunteered to join the military and serve our country. Now she finds herself decades later being told that she and her trans brothers and sisters are not wanted in the United State armed forces. She has some words for our Commander-in-Chief in her blog post today.

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Boob Sweat and Other Camping “Fun”

| Jul 17, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley has always dreamed of taking off and traveling across the country. She wants to see those parts of our nation that she has only flown over before, and to make it up close as possible she wants to camp her way across the land. Not just “camp” but “glamp,” which is a mashup of “camp” and glam.” She and her spouse have taken some short trips in their area to try out the glamping experience. Read on and find out what she learned about life in the great outdoors.

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(Some) Men Are Pigs!

| Jun 19, 2017 | 2 Replies

R.e.s.p.e.c.t., that’s what Cate O’Malley is talking about. Why can some men be such jerks online? Cate has had far too many online interactions with men who think every girl wants to see a photo of their manhood as soon as she responds to their first email. Cate has a way to deal with the pushy guys and she talks about it in her blog today.

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(Some) Men Are Pigs!

| Jun 19, 2017 | Reply

R.e.s.p.e.c.t., that’s what Cate O’Malley is talking about. Why can some men be such jerks online? Cate has had far too many online interactions with men who think every girl wants to see a photo of their manhood as soon as she responds to their first email. Cate has a way to deal with the pushy guys and she talks about it in her blog today.

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Waiting My Turn

| May 22, 2017 | Reply

Cate O’Malley is a trans lady who is active in her community and who goes out and about quite a bit so you just know that she’s going to have to make a stop in the ladies’ room now and then. While Cate is a law abiding citizen who observes the speed limit, doesn’t shop lift, or deal drugs, she is classified as a lawbreaker in her home state. Why? It’s the ridiculous law that says people can only use the restroom that matches the sex on their birth certificate. Cate has a lot to say about those laws and the conservative men who write those laws.

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Grouse Alert! Questions I will Not Answer

| Apr 24, 2017 | Reply

For a long time Cate O’Malley tried to be a good trans person and educate the unenlightened about trans issues. She would answer their questions, even the awkward ones, in hopes that she was helping to spread awareness of what life for trans people was like, and hopefully, make some other trans people’s lives easier. But after awhile the questions started to get tedious. Especially the core group of questions she just will not answer anymore.

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Grouse Alert! Questions I will Not Answer

| Apr 24, 2017 | Reply

For a long time Cate O’Malley tried to be a good trans person and educate the unenlightened about trans issues. She would answer their questions, even the awkward ones, in hopes that she was helping to spread awareness of what life for trans people was like, and hopefully, make some other trans people’s lives easier. But after awhile the questions started to get tedious. Especially the core group of questions she just will not answer anymore.

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Will she be remembered?

| Mar 27, 2017 | 7 Replies

Due to the nature of the trans/crossdressing community over the past few decades people often don’t learn that a friend from their crossdressing life has passed away — one day they stop seeing their friend at the usual places, the local TG-friendly club, or at the annual crossdresser weekend getaway. Many in the community separate their two lives and never reveal their male self to their female self’s friends. Today Cate O’Malley talks about a trans friend who passed away. Cate was fortunate to learn of her passing and attended the funeral — only to find a strange man’s body in the casket.

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Will she be remembered?

| Mar 27, 2017 | Reply

Due to the nature of the trans/crossdressing community over the past few decades people often don’t learn that a friend from their crossdressing life has passed away — one day they stop seeing their friend at the usual places, the local TG-friendly club, or at the annual crossdresser weekend getaway. Many in the community separate their two lives and never reveal their male self to their female self’s friends. Today Cate O’Malley talks about a trans friend who passed away. Cate was fortunate to learn of her passing and attended the funeral — only to find a strange man’s body in the casket.

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Trans Kids – Our Kids

| Feb 27, 2017 | Reply

Trans children are gaining more recognition in the world but there are still far too many who are experiencing rejection by their families, bullying and harassment from their peers and many end up homeless. Cate O’Malley feels it’s up to us, the members of the trans community, to treat these children as if they were our own. She feels it’s up to us to lend our experience and information to the kids and to any parents, guardians or agencies tasked with helping trans kids.

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Trans Kids – Our Kids

| Feb 27, 2017 | Reply

Trans children are gaining more recognition in the world but there are still far too many who are experiencing rejection by their families, bullying and harassment from their peers and many end up homeless. Cate O’Malley feels it’s up to us, the members of the trans community, to treat these children as if they were our own. She feels it’s up to us to lend our experience and information to the kids and to any parents, guardians or agencies tasked with helping trans kids.

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Calling it Quits

| Jan 30, 2017 | 2 Replies

Cate O’Malley has a few friends who have decided to give up expressing their true selves and go back to living as males 24/7. None of them are doing it willingly. They fervently wish they could continue to be who they really are, but circumstances in their lives have forced this decision on them. Cate shares her thoughts on how hard it must be to deny your true nature after being able to express it, at least part time, then going back to expressing your gender facade. She has advice for those faced with this decision and advice for others in the community who may not look at these people’s decisions kindly.

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