Reply To: General Discussion of Transgender Issues

[Anonacalypse]

Hey,

Honestly, this is a rant.
I’m not trans, but I’ve always explored how I wanted to present my body and am sensitive to how my body is perceived. The only place I can talk about my issues with gender and sex is the trans community.i apologize beforehand if I seen to be using this community to just vent, but I’m interested in their issues.

I’m started to become very angry over the fact that my body isn’t supposed to belong to me in it’s physical form as well as how it’s understood and talked about between people. For reference, I was assigned female at birth as have been raised accordingly. As a child I was adventurous and never understood why I wasn’t allowed to behave a certain way based on my genitalia, and rarely followed to rules for my gender. A turning point for when I took gender seriously was when my mother bought me pink sneakers I refused to wear them. My think was if pink is for girls than I won’t wear them, I wasn’t going to be told what to wear. After, my refusal she brought out a belt and threatened to beat me until I wore the sneakers. I don’t understand why I can own my body, and no one has ever even me a good reason for why I should give up ownership.

It’s not just the clothes I wear but since I was born female I’ve always been told that I’ve had to please men with my body through sex or childbirth, but at the same time told how corrupting sex is to women. Plus, I have to deal with the added pressure of race. I’m Black, so the way my gender is perceived is filtered first through me being black, and I’ve noticed that as a black women predators realize that harm done to use is not taken seriously so that target black girls.

I’m so tired of having to live my life based on ideologies around my genitalia. To me it’s only an organ. I’m tried of the unwanted sexual advance. I’m tried of my expression weather is masculine or feminine for the day to be seen as a mental disorder, and I’m tried of mostly cis people policing me because they drank to Kool aid and believe giving up autonomy is somehow human nature and they worst excuse is being nice.

I believe this rant is being written as a I speak because I’ve experienced harassment at my job. There’s a man who works in my department that likes to position his crotch near my ass, and I’ve had enough of it. Honestly, I want to stab him.