Reply To: How Do You Know if You Are Trans?
carla1212Hi,
Lydia your predicament is familiar to many. You are not alone. One thing I found is that helps to think of it this way: One’s not trying to become a woman, one is trying to become trans. After all, if we acknowledge that gender is all in our heads, we’re also admitting that the body may have other ideas. I have found that a lot of my guilt and confusion evaporated the day I realized this: I can pass as a woman, but I’m not one and never will be. When I was a teen and started dating men, using my feminine looks to attract them, I quickly discovered how much chaos I caused in their lives, how ugly and painful the ‘reveal’ always was, and how awful I myself could be, trying to manipulate men who cared for me into looking past the truth between my thighs. The saving grace is that some men really can love us for what we really are, not as some kind of second-class ‘female substitute’ but as transwomen. I think as transwomen we have to commit to total honesty from the beginning, or the people around us get hurt. No pretending to be male for some girlfriend, because that’s protecting ourselves, not her. And no pretending to be female for a straight boyfriend, because sooner or later the panties come off. So why not come clean with the gf, let her decide if she’s into what you really are, and if not… be confident that you’ll meet someone who is?
