Reply To: How Do You Know if You Are Trans?


Yah this can get very confusing! Well I always say you just kind-of make your peace with it. Key thing is: Nobody is perfectly sexually fulfilled (well, maybe for about 15 minutes after nooky-time…), nobody is 100% sure of their sexuality, nobody is really all that comfortable with the way people perceive them. I find these thoughts very reassuring, even if the reality is frustrating. I’ve been cross-dressing and dating men since I was a teenager and one thing I learned is that even the most macho, apparently straight men — even men married to beautiful, loving wives — find themselves in a place where they want girls like us instead. They are tortured by their own desires. They don’t know why, they can’t explain it, they try to run away from it but… they need us like the air they breathe. So why should we be any different? We get confused by our desires, we can be genuinely puzzled. Like every morning I look at my male clothes hanging there, ready for work, and I keep thinking: Are these really my clothes? Darn, I wish I could just throw on a dress and a little makeup, poof up my hair — it would feel so good! But with my career, it would never work. So I just wait til I get home and — poof! — back to being Carla. I think it was Robert De Niro or somebody like that who said “Life is acting.” So I guess we just have to act our various parts and (another quotation, John Lennon this time…): “Whatever gets you through the night / is all right.”