Reply To: General Discussion of Transgender Issues

[Anonymous]

Hi, I have evolved through life but life was dictated by societal norms. My best friend at school was the [secret] love of my life – he was conditioned ny society to be a stereotypical alpha male….30 years on he has just come out as gay…he could have been my husband 30 years ago if attitudes has been different. I am no better, I am long time married (nearly 30 years as well). My wife knows I am bisexual but has absolutely no idea about my gender fluidity (which started 45 years ago and manifested itself about 5 years ago when actually, gender fluidity wasn’t good enough and actually ‘trans’ is amore accurate label and I really pursued cross dressing (which I have done since climbing into my sisters dress aged 5).
How do I come out to my wife? Coming out as Bi was painful, involved alcohol and to this day she is still slightly in denial, (and not helped ny my best friend from school and husband I never had coming out as gay).
To make matters worse, I am in a job where machoism makes all the difference (Armed Forces) and I am too much of a coward to join the trail blazers – there are some excellent and brave trail blazers but they have the massive advantage of being young. I am too old to suddenly stand out…but I need to, in fact I want to come out!
I am such a hypocrite. I hated my wife being pregnant because it ruined her body. Now I want to be pregnant. How does that work? And what do I say to my 2 strapping Alpha male sons?
All my Trans activities are done in secret apart from the dogs. How do I break the cycle? And she would be ruined if I told her. |It is her life or mine and I can’t ruin hers!