Reply To: How Do You Know if You Are Trans?

[Makayla2019]

Hi everyone.

My name is Makayla and I am new to the forum.

I was reading this post with interest as it is obviously a similar story or challenge for a lot of us.

I have been on my journey or identifying as transgender for almost a year now.

I am still struggling though with the question am I trans.

I have since a small boy aged 4 or 5 had a fascination with women’s boots and that grew into a what I thought for a long time was a leather fetish. For me that was just what it was.

But I started to realise that when wearing boots I felt different at peace a calmness.

As I have gotten older I stared to experiment with wanting to full dress and present as female. This became more and more appealing and filled me with a real sense of joy.
I started to want to go out as makayla and experience more.
I tend to dress fashionably and don’t put too much makeup. I Aim to try and pass so to speak.

But my outfits are always based around boots. And it’s this connection to leather that worries me.

It’s in some way like a comfort blanket and or how I have found a link to my feminine self.

But the inner voice is constantly telling me it’s just fetish.

I find now though that other things that enable be to present a female element like a rose gold watch, earrings, or even a nice scarf is starting to give me the same comfort.

But deep down I can’t let go of this fear.

Am I trans or do I really just have a leather boot fetish.

Thanks for listening
Makayla.