This Just In

So a couple weeks ago, Osama Bin Laden was killed by a very brave American Seal Team. They stormed his compound, shot him twice in the head, and took all of his notes and computers. Hey I understand there’s a new drink called the Bin Laden. Yeah, it’s Two shots and a splash. Thank you! You’re a great audience! I’m here all week!

“Man oh man oh Sophie o’ mine — why do you tell us things that we all know?” you ask? To which I reply “All good things in all good time.”

See, Bin Laden was hiding in a well-fortified home in a suburb of Pakistan’s capital city. There he was — hiding in plain sight. Planning and plotting and watching porn. Leading his life.

So many of us hide in plain sight as well. Let’s face it, if you were to meet me in male mode, you wouldn’t know I was Sophie. And those who know me as male wouldn’t know me as Sophie either — even if I were in the same room (as long as I didn’t open my mouth that is.) They are not looking for me to be dressed as a woman. It’s not something people do — look for friends in drag. So as nervous as many of us are, most of us are safe from being spotted by friends.

What clues do we leave these friends? Do you shave/wax/pluck your eyebrows? Pierced ears? Have C-cup breasts? Do you swing your hips as you walk? Have an extensive knowledge of women’s shoes and or clothes?

Will they see these clues? After a while. Some will figure it out quickly though. So we hide. We hide and we lie.

So what would happen if one of them calls us on it before we’re ready to come out? Or worse — starts telling everyone without your knowledge? What can we do? Lie about it, burp loudly and bring up the last big sports event?

Fact is — none of them can prove anything unless they catch us dressed. So we deny. Deny and lie. Deny til we die. Deny and hope they don’t catch us. Hiding in plain sight.

So, what do I go and do? I’m starting laser on my face. This is something that really can’t be hidden, especially since I have a heavy beard in male mode. My coworkers, friends, etc? I can tell them I’m just shaving more often. My wife? There’s a different story. I didn’t marry an idiot. The clues I’ve left? Waxed eyebrows and pierced ears. Shaved legs and occasionally my chest. Yeah she’s going to figure it out soon enough, and when she does, it’ll be like that Seal team breaking down that door in Pakistan. I’ll be dead. Out the door.

So why in God’s name am I doing it?

Because to take steps toward being the woman that I am inside, I have to do it. I don’t think I need to explain it more to this crowd do I? You understand. And you have given me words of encouragement on Facebook and in person, for which I thank you.

It’s a big step.

God help me.

Tags: featured, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion