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Linda Jensen — Amanda’s Vacation Part 2

| Sep 21, 2009
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Amanda Ryan of eastern Ontario, Canada is a crossdresser. She is active in the Gender Mosaic support group in Ottawa and one of the partners in the Kingston Spring Fling weekend. This summer she went all out. She elected to try spending her two week summer vacation living in her own cottage community entirely as Amanda. “Paul” was to be relegated to the closet and whatever Paul would regularly do would be done by Amanda. Would she be able to pull it off? How would Paul’s relatives, friends and neighbors react? The first week went well. Amanda enjoyed the sensation of putting on make-up in the morning and getting dressed to go out. She got supportive reaction from all she met. How did it go in week two? Keep in mind all she is doing would make no impression at all if it were done by a person in their “familiar” gender identity. It takes on a whole new significance when one switches identities and then springs the new identities on familiar people. Could you do it? I couldn’t.

Day 7:
(Well, not quite week two but it is a good transition point). Each morning I wake up and put on a wig before I do anything else. Today I only had my nightie and wig on when I looked in the mirror. All I saw was Amanda. Even with no makeup. I had a laser session about a week ago and the dark hair is minimal at the moment. I looked like a girl who just got out of bed. Cool.

Today was a day of little accomplishments that boosted my confidence big time. I went to the dump where a nice gentleman told his two boys to move over and “Let the lady up.” I stopped at the Post Office and talked to Jill. She has already been introduced to Amanda so this was just a polite conversation. Next I went to the Foodland store in Northbrook to do some food shopping. I didn’t pick up any unusual vibes. Same at the liquor store and the corn stand. I have been surprising myself at how well I am passing. I know I have passed in the past but not as consistently as this week. Some of you may question that. But we all have our insecurities about what other people think and I am no different. This has been an eye opener for me.

Did you know that nail polish sticks to saran wrap? I had trouble wrapping up a pork chop.

I decided to do some sunbathing in the afternoon. I have found sunbathing incredibly relaxing in the past. So much so that I have to set a timer in case I fall asleep. I put on my bathing suit and pulled a patio lounge chair into the sun. To get a fuller tan I pulled by bathing suit top down to my waist. Then I placed my breastforms on my lap. That even looked funny from where I was looking. I figured I could put everything back into place if anyone came by. Well, sure enough my neighbor drove into the yard. I scrambled to get everything back in place and was able to do that just before they came into sight. Whew!  I put on my bathing suit coverup and we shared a couple of beers.

After they left I went for a wonderful swim. The water is just my temperature. I spent quite a while in the water. As I was swimming on my back I felt that my breastforms were floating off my chest. So to be sure I pulled one out and let it go about a foot under water. It floated up to the surface. Ladies — good news — breastforms float. The other thing I noticed while swimming was that the water current got under my nails with each stroke. That was an interesting feeling. I liked it.

Later in the evening Catherine and Beth, two friends from Gender Mosaic, arrived for an overnight visit. It was nice to see them. We had a nice visit and a couple of bottles of wine, including a bottle of Little Black Dress Merlot which was quite nice. Even later in the evening my daughter arrived for the weekend. I enjoy her visits. She enjoys my friends.

That was Day 7, another good day.

Day 8
Half way through my holidays and I am having an absolutely great time. The effort to get ready each morning doesn’t seem like an effort at all. It’s just the necessary time taken to prepare for a new day.

The last few days have been very hot here in Ontario. I am learning about shiny makeup and how quickly that happens on days like these. I have washed my armpits and reapplied deodorant once or twice more each day because girls just don’t stink. I would have never considered that in male mode.

Today I made a couple of trips to my neighbor’s place two doors down. The first trip was in the morning to cut their son’s hair. I used to cut my son’s hair until he was about 16. My nieces and a neighbor’s daughter would let me trim their long hair, too. I can do a straight line and they all thought it was great. So Amanda’s Hair Salon already has a reputation. My neighbor’s son simply won’t let his mother cut his hair but he was fine with Amanda coming over to do it. Imagine, this is a 15 year old boy whose friend was there, too. The two of them played video games while I buzzed his hair. Pretty simple cut with a No. 3 attachment. But he liked the result and it looked pretty good too.

As I am typing I am listening to my nails clicking on the keys. It sounds so cool.

The next trip to my neighbor’s was for drinks in the late afternoon. Getting there was the issue since I had just been swimming and we were going to swim while there too. Crossing the middle neighbor’s yard was a concern. I have tried to push the envelope with everyone around here but I don’t want to go too far on any one thing. Small steps have worked very well so far. I thought Amanda in a bathing suit might be pushing too far. Especially since they had company there for dinner. I rejected two cover ups and finally settled on wearing a top and shorts over the bathing suit. We had drinks on their dock. The ladies went up to the cottage to get some appetizers and I stayed with the guys on the dock. I actually felt uncomfortable staying with the guys. Not uncomfortable with the guys but uncomfortable that I didn’t go with the ladies. That was an interesting feeling. When the ladies came back our conversation quickly separated into the two guys discussing something (I wasn’t listening) and we three ladies immersed in another conversation. Some of it was TG and some was just girl stuff. Both of them want to come over to my place and try on some of my wigs. We will plan that for tomorrow. My neighbor’s friend was wearing a pretty blue, black and white cover up dress. We talked about that as something I could have worn across the middle neighbor’s yard. Then she said it was only $10 and that she was going to get one for me. That’s nice. I really, really enjoyed that conversation. It made me feel like one of the girls.

My niece joined my daughter and I for dinner. She is staying by herself at my sister’s cottage. She appreciated the offer and we had a very nice evening. There is simply no awkwardness with Amanda among my nieces anymore.

So went two more days of Amanda’s holiday. As I read over her reports I’m tempted to think of how lucky Amanda is to have such supportive and accepting people around her. I compare that to the experiences of so many others who have faced ostracism from families, lost friendships and failed relationships because they have been discovered or come out as transgendered. In this case I do not think luck is much of a factor here. It may be lucky that Amanda is living in the 21st Century where more people are aware of transgender issues. It may be luck that she lives among Canadians who tend to be more liberal and accepting of others but in the main I believe she has earned her acceptance by a lifetime of being a friendly, outgoing person always willing to help others. Her seeds are bearing fruit, as they say.

However will the routine of cottage life and chores take a toll on Amanda. How will she bear up with a busy weekend of social and GLBT events coming up in Ottawa? We’ll conclude next month.


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Category: Transgender Body & Soul

Linda Jensen

About the Author ()

Canadian writer Linda Jensen is a long time contributor to TGForum. Before the days of the Internet Linda started her writing with the Transvestian newspaper. Her writing ranges from factual accounts of her adventures to fiction although frankly sometimes her real life adventures are stranger than the fiction. Linda is married to a loving partner who upon learning about Linda said, "she was part of you before I met you. Although I didn't know it she was part of the package I fell in love with. I don't want to mess up that package." "Does it get any better than that?" asks Linda.

Comments (1)

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  1. says:

    Looking forward to next months letter. Acceptance is something we are all looking for. I only hope this story has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing Amanda. Linda you asked if I could do this, sadly No.

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