A Truth That Can Set You Free

The biggest mistake I have ever made; how I have created my own deep inner peace.

At the tender young age of four years old I wore a pair of high heel shoes out of my mother’s bedroom.

This action was not met with cheers of joy in our military family, but really, all the drama I have experienced on this journey has had little or nothing to do with the shoes, and I will tell you why because, what I have discovered, has brought about an inner peace that is, a truth that will set you free, if you choose it to.

I thought it was the shoes, the secret of my desire to dress as I now do openly; that was a big mistake.

I have written before about the experience I had while walking to school one day as a youth; a conversation I was having out loud and alone, when I said, “I am going to find out what it is that those who appear so calm and at peace inside all the time know and teach it to people like me.”

So, another stone overturned as I move further through this experience, that has nothing to do with being gender different, yet is shuffled to the surface into plain view because of it, and I am grateful.

As I began to explore the gender different arena in an intentional and conscious way, I had no idea of where exactly it would lead me. I knew only that something was trying to emerge from within, that I could no longer deny.

First, I experienced the awareness of what was attempting to emerge from within me. Then, denial, shame and repression of this aspect of my personality to a self harming degree.

The deeply ingrained judgements and condemnation beliefs I had unwittingly accepted have created actions that hurt me and sadly, many around me, in my attempt to conceal my “Self”.

What I discovered, was my own judgements on the labels.

At this point of my journey, I do not use the binary constructs of male and female any longer. Those are constructs, many people simply do not fit into. What construct are you trying to fit into? Funny? Popular? Cool? They are all constructs created by fear.

I say I am a transgender person; a label broad enough to minimize some pigeon holing. Sifting through the multitudes of labels in the rainbow community alone, let alone the world outside the rainbow tribe, has had me reach the point of exasperation, crippling exhaustion and created huge amounts of drama, and I’m not being dramatic here at all, hahaha.

I had felt like I was going crazy and all because of one simple idea; trying to fit into a pre-made, template construct.

Most of us have tried this, unaware of doing it, and my friends, by stopping this one habit, I have reached a place within of inner peace and calm that will change your life and heal your body.

I stopped the insanity for myself by refusing to fit into “Any”, other construct.

I now choose to fit into only my own personal creation, by allowing the emergence of the character I am as a “One of a kind” model of the human family. I am one of a kind, something I used to tease others for being in school. I am a unique expression, and so is every person on this planet; so are you, and that is a particularly good thing.

I am creating a persona, a character that I love; that I choose to allow to emerge into being, and the best part is that I am the only one of me on this entire planet.

I am unique and beautiful and unlike any other person, um, and so are you.  We have all heard the phrase, there is only one you; it is a true statement, and the amount of suffering we experience daily can be greatly reduced, when we choose to allow what is emerging from within to become and ditch the trying to “fit in” to any other construct, model of thinking. Just doing this I have found, has really helped me find the inner freedom and peace that I have been aching for since I was a small kid on the army base, and it can for you as well.

This week, practice the life skill of refusing to “fit in” and instead, become a creator of the you, you have imagined; this truth will greatly improve your life and the lives of generations ahead.

Thanks for reading TGForum and thank you for being exactly who you are!

Namaste’

Char

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul