A Letter to My Daughters

(Authors note: This is a slightly expurgated version of the letter that I sent to my daughters a few weeks ago. I don’t need to hide anymore.)

21 October 2014

Dear Daughters,

The purpose of this letter is to tell you that I am a male-to-female transsexual. For about 50 years, I was a closeted transgender crossdresser but a few years ago, I started transsexual transition. Before I started transition, as a matter of due diligence, I researched all the science I could find on the subject. I wrote the enclosed autobiographical book to describe my experience but also to summarize some of the science. A more scientific book will be coming out soon. Because you are both in the health professions, I believe that you will appreciate the science

You may already have suspected my transgender situation because I grew out my hair and have gained a bunch of weight and there probably have been some other signs along the way.

I kept my transgender and transsexual experience a secret for many years because of several concerns. Among these were meeting parental expectations, concern of being dishonorably discharged from the military, losing my job and fear of losing my security clearance. All of these concerns were real. Most of those concerns have now gone away. Even my current military contract is now protected by a recent Presidential executive order.

Now do not get the idea that I was flamboyant. I never wore anything sexier than a skirt suit and certainly never dressed to mock womanhood. The only times I went out were to attend private support group meetings. I am not homosexual and did not engage in unsafe sex. I am still sexually oriented to women.

You may wonder why I engaged in such behavior. My personal explanation is that I always knew from the age of 4 that I was transgender. I just knew. That is me on the cover of the book about the time I told my mother that I was a girl, not a boy. For many years, the need to express my preferred gender gnawed at me until I had to do something about it.

My best scientific explanation is that we are all born with a gender behavior predisposition, just as we are borne with other predispositions like handedness, artistic talent and mathematics ability. This predisposition is sometimes not congruent with ones assigned sex or cultural behavior category. This results in transsexualism and transgenderism (TSTG). For me it has been a long process of coming to a personal and scientific understanding of my TSTG situation.

As detailed in my two books, there is good scientific evidence that gender behavior predisposition is biological. Examination of historical and geographic cultures indicates that many cultures recognize the need to have more than two gender behavior categories and to allow flexibility between them. Many Native American cultures had 3 or 4 categories. Some contemporary cultures have 3 categories and one has 5. Something that widespread must be biological in nature.

Twin and family studies indicate a high degree of heritability and there are DNA markers that correlate with TSTG. If one identical twin is transgender or transsexual then there is a strong likelihood that the other will be too. Because scientific resources for TSTG research are limited, the whole genome has not been explored for DNA markers, only a few sites. There is also some evidence that there may be some epigenetic mechanisms involved as well.

When we are born we are assigned a sex, based on cultural expectations of sex and a gender behavior category. (Although, as you undoubtedly know, for many intersex people, sex cannot easily be determined.) Culture is not biologically determined and is arbitrary and sometimes capricious both respect to sex and gender behavior category.

In our culture, gender behavior category is assigned entirely based on assigned sex but not in other cultures where expression of gender identity and early behavior are considered.

The problem comes in when one’s gender behavior predisposition is not congruent with one’s assigned gender behavior category but another category is congruent and culture does not permit movement between the two categories. The result is TSTG behavior. Some cultures allowed people to move between gender behavior categories at will but in our culture that is not generally allowed.

Our culture has begun to change to become more understanding of TSTG behavior but it will take a while for it to be totally accepted. In the meantime, we do the best we can to fit into the culture. For several years now, I have been taking hormones and hormone blockers to change my body. I had all my facial hair taken off by electrolysis (ouch!). I am now going through a Real Life Experience period to see if I can work in my congruent gender behavior category. All of this has been done with the help of my psychologist and endocrinologist; I am not a do-it-yourselfer. Transition is not a race, nor is it like climbing a mountain, so there is no imperative to have any surgeries. Only about 25% of transsexuals actually get transsexual genital plastic surgery (sometimes mistakenly referred to variously as sexual assignment surgery and gender confirmation surgery.)

This may be more information on TSTG than you want to absorb right now. But I am sure, as healthcare professionals that you probably have already met up with TSTG people. After all, the percentage of male-to-female transgender people in the population is something over 1% and the female-to-male people about half of that. However, estimates of the frequency of TSTG continue to increase because researchers are conducting more surveys to plan for future healthcare needs and TSTG people are more willing to admit their behavior.

Healthcare professionals are beginning to include TSTG in their curricula and CEU courses. I actually taught a CEU course at Emory. Just so you know, I am a member of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health which sets guidelines for treatment, the American Psychological Association GLBT Division, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. By necessity and interest, I have become an expert on the science of TSTG.

You will notice that the book carries a byline of “Dana Jennett.” I have used this name for business and as a pen name. Dana was just a unisex name of convenience. Jennett was the name of your 6^th great grandmother. I may eventually change my name legally but right now I am leaning to keeping my birth name, merely feminizing it a little.

I regret that I could not tell you in person about my transsexuality but I hope this letter and the accompanying book may help. I did not want to wait any longer and you have such busy schedules.

Finally, I plan to dress as a man when with you and your families, so you do not have to worry. You won’t see me in a skirt for some time to come.

If you want to talk about this revelation, I will be available. Just set up a time to call.

Love,

Dad

Tags: coming out, featured, Identity, Transsexual, transsexualism

Category: Transgender Body & Soul