What Happened to the Damascene Conversion We Were Promised?

A few weeks ago, I posted on a Facebook men-in-skirts activist group a picture of me in my local supermarket, pretending to look glum, while holding what I described as two copies of the “designer skirt” I was wearing. (Some of you may remember it from my last TGF article.) One of the comments that followed read:

“To be able to wear tights/pantyhose along with a skirt/dress would be a lot more comfortable … Looks like it’ll be a while before something like this is more accepted here in Canada.”

This reminded me of the sort of whinge I used to hear in the Beaumont Society (apparently, the UK’s oldest crossdresser support group) during my time as a member in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Despite having been in existence for more than three decades by that time, the society had done nothing for its members apart from providing them with a bigger closet; the overwhelming majority were still so deeply in denial that they didn’t even contribute articles to the quarterly magazine, far less submit any personal details or photographs of themselves. Many of those who did put pen to paper moaned about how unfair the world was, because they “weren’t able” or “weren’t allowed” to go out dressed in public. The tyrant of the piece was always the public acceptance of crossdressing — or rather, a perceived lack of it. And yet, in a triumph of hope over reason, there was a widespread expectation amongst crossdressers that public acceptance would one day come to pass, all by itself … although no-one could say precisely how, when, or why this miraculous Damascene Conversion would take place. But what was very clear was that no-one was willing to actually do anything which might even loosely be described as “advocacy” in order to hasten the event.

I wrote articles for the magazine describing this stance as cowardice. I explained that all other minority groups — race, sex, disability, LGB — had won recognition through sheer hard work and perseverance, often resulting in arrest, imprisonment, abuse, assault, even death, and that if we crossdressers wanted similar recognition, we’d have to stop cowering in our closets, make ourselves visible to the outside world, then state our demands and follow them up with a sustained program of activism. It’s a matter of history that I was one of a handful of crossdressers who practised what they preached — I dispensed with my body padding, my female identity, and my wigs, and successfully negotiated with my employer for the right to wear women’s clothes to work. I was subsequently instrumental in helping them develop a public-domain transgender diversity policy — the first of its kind for a global organization — aimed at supporting crossdresser and transsexual employees worldwide.

When I embarked singlehandedly on my program of activism in late 1999, I was all too familiar with the crossdressing scene; I expected a continuation of the prevailing apathy, the endless excuses for inaction, and the lack of any form of even verbal support. What I didn’t expect was the vicious torrent of abuse from other crossdressers, the censoring of my magazine submissions, and my eventual expulsion from the Beaumont Society for “conduct likely to damage the society’s reputation.” I also didn’t expect to have to engage a solicitor to defend myself against a senior committee member who attempted to publish a libellous article denouncing accounts of my ongoing achievements as a pack of lies. Such was the status quo at the time: crossdresser groups were so paranoid that I was going to blow the doors off the closet that they weren’t satisfied with simply ignoring me — they took every opportunity to actively silence me and discredit my work. It’s a pity that their energy and passion were so badly misdirected — appropriately channelled, they could have been a valuable resource.

That was 15 years ago; if I was wrong, and everyone else was right, what changes has the crossdressing community seen in the period since, and what benefits have been derived for its members? Well, the most obvious thing to have happened is that the one-time crossdresser support groups have become dominated by the transsexual agenda. In fact, the term “transgender” — originally coined to describe crossdressers who specifically don’t wish to undergo a sex change — has ironically now become synonymous with “transsexual” to the point where, if one states that one is “transgender,” the automatic expectation is that they will have the operation. Transsexuals have become the latest group to demand their human rights, following on from ethnic, women, disability, and LGB … but what about crossdressers specifically? Where are all the great advances towards acceptance that I was assured were magically going to happen? Where are all the crossdressers who should feel safe being “out and proud,” now that the public have started accepting us?

They don’t exist, of course. The crossdressing community has always thought it knew best: however, its members have not only vastly overestimated the level of public interest in their affairs, but they’ve also failed to observe and understand the tactics being employed by other pressure groups — including transsexuals right under their noses. They’ve sat idly back, pouting narcissistically into their closet mirrors, while their unique interests have been side-lined within their own support networks by the less numerous but far more vocal transsexuals. They’ve completely abdicated their place at the negotiating table (not that most of them even knew there was a negotiating table), and are now almost totally invisible not only in the outside world, but even within the support groups themselves. It gives me no pride to say “I told you so”, but … well, I told you so.

It’s a pathetic indictment on the crossdressing community that, even today, its members still don’t have the courage to stand tall and refute the damaging lies about what they are and what they do that pervade the gutter press and the Internet. If similar lies were even implied about an ethnic minority, for example, the perpetrator would be in court before their feet could touch the ground. Frankly, I’m ashamed and embarrassed to be associated with people like this.

My Facebook reply to the above comment said “Why do you suppose acceptance will happen on its own? If you want acceptance for what you do, YOU have to bring the issue to the public’s attention, then YOU have to make it acceptable. That’s what activism is all about.” The response was “True enough, Graham. True enough.”

I suppose I should regard it as progress that someone’s actually agreeing with me now, rather than trying to shoot me down in flames ….

What do you think? Do you agree with Graham that crossdressers should all come out of the closet and show the world how many CDs their are. or do you feel CDs should continue to try and blend in and not make waves? Or do you think crossdressers have made strides toward acceptance? Use the comment area below. (You must be a registered user and logged in to comment.)

Tags: Beaumont Society, crossdressing, featured, opinion, passing, Transgender

Category: Transgender Opinion