Reply To: Dating While Transgender
ebony6Salutations, I feel like years ago I used this forum, idk. Either way I feel this is a place to relieve stress plus make friends with my fellow comrads.
I am geez now 31, but had my srs! (Mtf) That was about three years ago. Super glad that is over with. Well, I’m still with the same girlfriend (she claims lesbian I’m bi). We have been dating for a year before the surgery.
So before the surgery we would do all the norms any couple would do plus the typical lots of sex. No issues, we still spend a lot of time together and she tells me how she loves me so very much almost daily and well I do love her to.
Problem though, sex has stopped completely. After my surgery we kind of tried maybe three times. The first two I had her climax first, she just went to bed after leaving me aggravated and alone. The third it was so bad, well. . . I faked it and lied. But ya those three times it was months and months apart with her having zero interest in it.
The third time was about a year ago. . .
We have had conversations, she would say it’s stress/once even mentioned becoming a selibut monk/ not feeling comfortable/ tickles. . . Like I just touch anywhere.
She occasionally reads yoai manga, she swears she just reads it for the stories but whenever it is a sex scene and I try to see what she is reading on her phone she will immediately close it and refuse to let me see (caught a few glimpses she totally is looking at the porn aspect too but two guys).
A month ago I was in my home office downstairs while I she was reading manga in the living room. A few hours go by i go upstairs, not in the living room but our bedroom on the bed, it really looked like she was about to start masterbating.
So figured perhaps we could finally make love again, so I try kissing and touching her and it ends up her telling me to stop and no dont. Doesn’t try to make love to me and it ends up me stopping nothing happening and well same ol same ol.
A few nights ago we go on a mini vacation. Had a great day, we were having a good time. Eventually we make it back to the hotel eat a nice take out dinner even had night use a nice Italian Moscato. She goes to lay on the bed I make my way on top of her and start kissing her neck and try them attempted kissing her on the lips while softly started to touch her. She starts trying everything in her power to stop it, tells me to look at the tv, stop touching her the TV was a freaking car commercial. She tells me to stop and literally said I don’t want to fight with you right now. She actually called love making with me fighting. Once we got back home I watched some movie that a very tasteful lesbian sex scene, I joked with her trying to cover her eyes which she quickly showed my arm away to watch and drool over while I was mention they were, “fighting” she didn’t catch that. Probably to distracted.
I’m kind of at my end wits here, sex is dead with us. It’s not everything to a relationship with me not even a big factor. After my surgery my libido really dropped but I still have libido and am a woman with reasonable needs. Not asking for a daily or even weekly thing but something!
I’ve explained to her handful times that it hurts we no longer make love and makes me feel worthless and ugly, even mentioned I’m not saying we must have sex every day but every now and this is a way for us to express love and relieve tension. We used to make love a lot and it was amazing, like any normal healthy relationship.
But I’m at a loss. I don’t know who to talk to. I’m not into cheating, I do love her. But the love for her feels like it is rotting away over something that shouldn’t be but a small percentage to a relationship. I’m still healing down there, the tip appears to not heal so its a bit sensitive and stings to touch; but never stopped me from playing with myself and climaxing.
Suggestions?
