Reply To: Dating While Transgender

#53624
carla1212carla1212
Participant

Hi,
I’ve been celibate since March. I had been seeing a man for about 5 months, going out, staying in, cooking for him, lots of sex… really good sex! So much so that I was falling in love with him, & would even blurt out ‘I love you’ in the heat of love-making. I mean, the man is a national treasure when it comes to sex! Then when the whole COVID-19 thing started I was in Europe on assignment. It’s a branch of military/government service where I’m not allowed to bring my personal cell phone or computer. No personal communicationsmuch . The orders were issued with only a few hours warning, I had no time to tell anyone where I was going. But it was only supposed to be a week to ten days, and my guy (Larry) knows what I do for a living — he knows I sometimes have to disappear for a week or two. This time the op got complicated, extended, then we got locked down and quarantined because one of our guys came down with COVID-19. I had no way to communicate with Larry and I was stuck there for weeks; and then when we were released they rolled over our assignment and that added another two weeks. I am finally home… but afraid to contact him. When I got my devices back there were a hundred e-mails, texts and messages: First just ‘where are you?’ ‘are you okay?’ and then ‘you bitch, were you just playing me?’ Then much worse things than that… and then nothing since a few weeks ago. I am heart-broken thinking I’ve lost him – did you ever have a man make you feel like you’re the center of the universe every time he looks at you? Now he’s sent me messages so mean and hurtful, he can never take them back. Even if I could get over it, I am so afraid he’s moved on, doesn’t love me anymore, or maybe just can’t deal with the realities of my career. Am I being silly? What do I do?h