The Ice Caps May be Melting… But Not Women’s Breasts (Thank God!)

I saw an interesting article about women’s breasts (find me an uninteresting article about women’s breasts – I dare you) on the London Daily Mail website. According to scientific fact, women’s breasts are growing larger from generation to generation. And the sweet thing about the article was that they showed three generations of female family members and listed their respective measurements. This, ladies, is what is known as investigative journalism—with photographic evidence to back up (or perhaps more appropriately “front” up) their story.

First up was the story of Grandmom Barbara Haywood, age 67 with a very respectable pair of 36B’s, followed by Mom Denise, age 42 with 34FF’s, and daughter Miranda, age 22 with 30G boobs. (She must be small-framed and large-cupped, which is a winning combo in any man’s eyes.) Mom Denise said it was hell trying to fit her breasts into a mere DD bra and only found happiness when she could house the twins in their proper FF cup abodes. By the way, Grandmom Barbara is a sharp-looking, silver-haired ballroom dance instructor and she looks like she could still incite an embarrassing incident in the heat of a tango—if you know what I mean.

Another family with an outstanding gene pool was the Bartons led by Grandmom Mary, a sprightly 83 year old with 34B’s, Mom Sue, an attractive 58 with 36C’s, and daughter Claire, 32 with a heavy set of 34F’s. Grandmom Mary said that in her day, a lady didn’t draw attention to her breasts, rather the slim waist was the area women tried to showcase. Mom Sue said that her breasts were as big at her daughter’s age as they are today but on a much smaller frame. However, even in the “swinging 60’s” nice girls did not feature their breasts for prurient interest. Daughter Claire said she has a love-hate relationship with her large breasts. It is nice in one sense to get attention but also a problem to keep them under control so she doesn’t appear to be soliciting attention. I guess we all struggle with that, don’t we, ladies?

The scientists studying this natural phenomena (where can we get that job?) say that the natural evolution of humanity and the growing size of our bodies, including the current obesity pandemic is causing this most desirable and aesthetic (my commentary) breast development. Keep doing what you’re doing, women of the world, and we will always be here to measure the results. With or without a tape measure.

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