T: A Name I Call Myself

Like many people who do this thing we do, I attend a support group. It’s great being among so many t-girls who are in different parts of our spectrum; from “hobby-dressers” to fully transitioned. In my case, I attend Greater Philadelphia Renaissance.

The idea of the support group is fellowship and education. Most of the girls are very nice, open and helpful. I learn a lot every time I go, even if it’s just what color goes with what. In any case it’s good to be among like minded people. Most groups have speakers come and discuss topics from makeup to legal issues. Our meeting are the third Saturday of every month, which are followed by an amazing T-girl party called Angela’s Laptop Lounge. So that’s lots of Sophie time for me!

As I have screamed to the heavens and cried in my pillow and I think written here, I don’t know where I stand in this path. Am I just some guy in a skirt or am I going to transition? It’s like a fog that is impenetrable, but each time I dress becomes just a little clearer. That said; I identify with all of my sisters along the path. However, this past Saturday I discovered that not all shared my view.

I’ve heard of it before — that people who have transitioned or are in the later stages of transitioning hold crossdressers in contempt. Somehow, their pain makes them superior to us, as if we don’t suffer as well.

So one of these sorts was at Renaissance (Ren) on Saturday night. She proceeded to look down her nose at “Day trannies” and “Day gays.” She said so four or five times with a tone usually reserved for dog sh*t. No, that isn’t an exaggeration. She didn’t seem to care that she was insulting 80% of the people in the room. This is why I come to a support group — to be insulted! Yay!

Okay, so now you have the facts of the case. I was angry and informed the chapter president of my feelings. I also sent emails to several friends who have transitioned and asked if this is the prevailing opinion of those who have walked the path. Now I come to the point.

(Gets up on soapbox.)

When referring to our big “umbrella,” we are LGBT, with the T referring to us, the Transpeople. It isn’t LGBTC or LGBTDT or LGBT.14159 or any other combination. T refers to us all.

Okay, we’ve all read that we as a group face discrimination in our jobs, in our lives, in the face of the law. People out there hate us (and many of them will hold up a Book of Peace as justification.) We are dying out there due to violence against us. So you’d think in the face of all this hate that we could band together and be brothers/sisters and fight this common fight, or at LEAST support each other. Nope. Not the case. Not even at a support group. It seems that in every sort of group there must be dissidents.

So why bother with fellowship if this is the case? Are these groups just places to swap makeup tricks and shoes? I say not. I say that aside from the occasional bad apple, that these groups serve a valuable purpose, and that we CAN be One under the big T.

(Soap box collapses under my weight.)

Okay, so since I mentioned it — what did my friends say? The following were edited only for typos:

“Narrow minded jerks exist in all demographic samples. Unfortunately, you ran into a narrow minded jerk within our demographic sample.”

And from someone else:

“Don’t lump us in with that jerk, and move on.”

Great minds think alike after all!

Programming note: I will be attending the Keystone Conference from March 9-12 in Harrisburg, Pa., where I will be presenting a seminar on “Writing TG fiction.” And I will write all about it next month! You lucky people!

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion