Nothing to Be Ashamed of, it’s Natural

| Jul 18, 2022
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“I’m not ashamed to dress “like a woman” because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.” This quote has been attributed to Iggy Pop in a meme featuring Mr. Osterberg clad in a dress, carrying a purse and staring insolently into the camera lens. Some critics have charged that it’s “a reductive view of what it means to be a woman, what it means to be a man, and also serves to erase anyone and everyone who falls outside of those very narrow definitions”. So I wouldn’t think of wading into that one. But the quote deals with something every crossdresser, non-binary, or trans person has grappled with. The idea of shame for responding to a deep urge to act and dress in feminine attire. Shame for even having those urges.

I have to say, as a late blooming crossdresser who now self-identifies as bi-gender, I recall being confused  by those urges all of my life. Beginning at the age of 7 or 8 dressing in my mother’s clothes, and wearing her makeup. At first it was something that she indulged me in. But when she saw I was getting really into it, she put a stop to it. Shamed me from continuing. Never really explaining why not. So of course, for a few years after, I dressed in secret, when alone in the house. And doing anything in secret tends to be at once thrilling, and shameful. Feeling guilty but not really understanding what there was to be guilty about. I thought I was alone. 

There’s no logic involved. It’s just who I am. Who we are. How can anyone who doesn’t have these deep impulses ever understand how much we daydream about dressing when we are in drab boy mode, and how good it makes us feel as we put on the hose, bra, heels, dress, makeup, hair? For some it’s just a few feminine items — panties under male garb, for others, it has to be the Full Monty (That’s me!) — all to to maintain that connection to one’s inner woman.

The problem is the social taboo that continues, even in an otherwise enlightened era. No progressive socially conscious person would ever put on black face or share racist or homophobic jokes. But for some reason, in some circles, “transvestism” is still fair game. It’s why Halloween continues to be Crossdresser Christmas for some of us — an opportunity to get dolled up and go out in public “for fun”, without raising eyebrows or having one’s sexuality called into question. Without being shamed.  

I like to think that, thanks to websites like this one, and thanks to a world where confused kids who feel the need to genderbend can learn more about how natural their impulses are, and that there are others they can share and discuss these feelings with. I probably would have started dressing and going out in public much sooner than in middle age! But I’m happy I did. I just hope we can keep moving in a direction where we can all agree that it’s not shameful to want to dress or act like a woman. That it can be joyful and liberating for a cisgender man to explore his inner femininity, and take it out in public for a walk whenever he/she feels the need to. Without shame. Strut your stuff, girls! 

xo Misha

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Category: crossdressing, Transgender Opinion

MishaMonroe

About the Author ()

I’m a mature non-op trans woman (started as a CD 7 years ago!). I love the rituals: Monthly mani-pedis and waxings, shapewear, squats and leg toning workouts, big bouncy breast forms and a total commitment to maximizing my femininity with makeup. hair and high heel strutting skills. I started late so I’m making up for lost time! I love celebrating my femininity. And I love being admired and desired. Don't be afraid to reach out to say hi if you like what you see! xo Misha

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